My clothes smelled just like Lucky. The cologne was soft but left a lingering effect. My pussy was still wet from him playing with it. I had never in my life done nothing so extreme. Khi was low key and didn’t really show affection in public places. The most he would do was hold my hand in public. Lucky really turned me, but I couldn’t tell him that and those soft kisses on the neck made me so weak. If he would’ve asked me to go home with him tonight, I’m sure I would’ve said yes. I was already hot and ready like a damn Little Caesar’s pizza.
I slipped out of my dress and jumped in the shower. It was my anniversary with Khi tomorrow and I wanted to go and put some fresh flowers on his gravesite. It was going to feel weird going there and I had just been with another man. My sister toldme if the shoe was on the other foot, Khi would’ve moved on by now. He loved me with everything in him. He did stupid shit when he was mad at me, but I knew he wouldn’t just move on his with his life. As soon as my head hit the pillow, Lucky called.
“You didn’t text me.”
“I jumped in the shower, my bad.”
“I thought ‘bout it when I made it home. I never asked you why you started cutting hair? I really like that shit. Now I’on know if I like the fact you ‘round niggas all day but to see a fine ass muthafuckin’ woman cutting hair is a turn on.”
“I don’t know. I used to cut my daddy’s hair and when he would go hang on the block with his boys, they would always ask him who got his tape line so sharp. Before I knew it, I would have a house full of grown ass men getting their haircut. My mama used to be mad as fuck with me and my daddy. She stopped talking shit when I would give her a lil’ cut off the money. My daddy sent me to barber school and here I am. I been doing it so long, I’m sure I can cut in my sleep.”
“So, is that the only barbershop you own?”
“Yea, I can’t see myself running another one. One is enough.”
“Think bigger baby. I wanna invest. You can have one in every hood. You ain’t gotta work all’um. Hire the best barbers in the city and make them the manager.”
“I have one now at my shop if I can keep him levelheaded.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I have a lil’ brother that’s hot-headed like a muthafucka.”
“Yeah, but this dude can cut the hell outta some hair. I brought under my wing, and I’ve showed him everything I know. I can trust him, but he’ll set some shit off quick.”
“That’s wassup. Think ‘bout what I said. When it comes to business always think bigger. You got some good shit going and when you have kids, they’ll have generational wealth. That’sa conversation for our next date. I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I laid there looking at the ceiling thinking about what he said. The fact that he called me and asked me about my business spoke a lot about him. Khi wasn’t into the whole barbershop shit but he let me have it because it was my passion. He bought the shop and made sure I had everything I needed but he never stepped foot in there, not even to get a haircut. That was what most of our arguments stemmed from.
Lucky had me thinking though. I would love to spread out but I just never wanted to step on any toes when I expanded. Atlanta could be ruthless and if you took over a neighborhood with your business, they’ll destroy your shit. I didn’t want to have to go through that when I was content right where I was. Maybe one more barbershop wouldn’t hurt if I picked the right location. It was something I was going to have to think about. I set my alarm for the next morning and went to sleep.
Khi’s aunt owned a fresh flower shop a few blocks away from the graveyard. I would always stop by to get Khi and Kj’s flowers from her. She would have them ready for me before I got there so we wouldn’t be making small talk. I would still get choked up about certain things she would say. His family knew they were my world and would still check up on me from time to time.
“Good morning, beautiful,” his aunt greeted when I walked in.
“Good morning, auntie. I see you got me ready.”
“You know I do. I figured Kj would want these manly looking flowers since he would constantly tell us he wasn’t a little boy anymore,” she laughed.
“I know. And I would tell him, he would always be my baby. He hated when we treated him like a baby.”
“That’s why Khi would get him and say he been around women too long, it’s time for me to take my boy with me.”
I fought back the tears as we talked. Khi was big on making him a man but I thought it was too much too fast. Who was I to tell him he couldn’t take his son? A son needed his father and Khi was there.
“I’mma let you get out of here before it gets too hot out there. Don’t be a stranger, Blessyn. You still family to us.”
“I know and thank you for the flowers.”
“You know it’s nothing,” she waved me off.
The closer I got to the cemetery, the more I wanted to turn my car around and go back home. It never got easier but it made me feel better after I left from talking to them. I stopped and parked and just sat there thinking about that day. My son lived two days after the shooting but his body couldn’t take the healing process after the surgery. It was too much for him. I wanted to tell the doctors to hold on to him as much as they could but he was already gone, the machine was keeping him alive. He had no brain activity and his organs were shutting down. I had just lost Khi prior and then them telling me my son wasn’t going to make it, made me lose the second child I was carrying. I didn’t have time to tell Khi I was pregnant again. Deep down, I don’t want to ever carry another child. The shit was too painful for me.
I got out and grabbed the flowers. As I got closer to their headstones, I noticed that Kj’s shit was cleaned off. He didn’t have any weeds and he had some fresh flowers. The shit spookedme out so that I dropped their flowers to pull my phone out to call Merci.
“You’ve reached Merci. Leave me a message and I may call you back.”
“Merci, did you come to Kj’s gravesite? He has fresh flowers and someone cleaned around his headstone. Call me back please.”
