Page 104 of Over & Out
I stand on her porch, gripping the railing with two hands as she gets in. I want to run after her. To jump in front of her vehicle and then supplicate myself on my knees in front of her, begging her not to leave. I want to tell her she doesn’t need to forgive me, but please,pleasedon’t leave.
But she meant what she said, and that would only make things worse. So I stand there, my heart bleeding out, watching her taillights as they disappear around the corner and out of sight.
Chapter 35
Chris
Once again I drive without really knowing where I’m going until I arrive. It’s New Year’s Eve, and everyone’s got their own plans. But there’s one place I remember. A place I’ve never been.
When I pull off the winding road onto a long driveway at the address texted to me half a year ago, I almost cry. The cottage is probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, even in the still low-level drizzle. Actually, maybe it’sbecauseof the bad weather. Woodsmoke puffs out of the brick chimney, into the nearby trees. The porch that wraps around the cozy red farmhouse is enclosed in glass, and I can just see the tops of an overstuffed couch layered in blankets next to the front door.
I park in the gravel driveway, next to a small field with a barn at the opposite end. As I get out, a donkey watches me balefully with its big brown doe eyes.
Just as I’m wondering if I made a mistake in coming here without notice, the front door opens.
“Chris!” Dolly exclaims, looking genuinely delightedto see me. She’s wearing an oversized sweater and leggings rather than her usual fifties-inspired wardrobe. More surprisingly, there’s a baby on her hip. A baby I know and love—Mac and Shelby’s one-year-old, Jess.
“Hey!” I say, trying to look bright and cheery as I head up the walkway, when really, I’m on the verge of an absolute meltdown.
“I didn’t know you babysat for Mac and Shelby.”
“Oh, I don’t. But when Shelby told me they’d been invited to a party in the city and that Nate was doing his own thing so couldn’t help out, I offered.” Nate is Mac’s son, who, at twenty, has just recently moved out. According to Mac and Shelby, he still comes back all the time, saying he’s just there to hang out with his baby sister.
I nod, my eyes brimming.
“Oh, honey,” she says, wrapping me in a hug with baby Jess.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice wobbly. “I didn’t know where else to go. I remember you saying you’d be home for New Year’s, but I should have known you’d be busy.”
“Busy? Are you kidding me? This is such a welcome surprise!”
When she lets me go, Jess flaps her arms, babbling excitedly. But Dolly’s expression is soft and compassionate, and it’s no match for my emotional state. So even though I’m not the baby in this little threesome, I’m the one who bursts into tears.
An hour later, after helping put dinner together in the kitchen, Jess is fed, babbling, and clapping her hands in bubbly water as the two of us sit in Dolly’s cozy bathroom. It’s such an old house that the tub is in a separate room from the toilet. But that means there’s space in here for a chair, which Dolly insisted I sit in while she perches on the stool next to the tub.
“Ba-bows!” Jess exclaims.
“Yes, sweetheart. Bubbles!” Dolly laughs. “My goodness, she is so sweet,” she says to me.
My eyes grow wet for the thousandth time since I got here. “She has so many words now. I haven’t seen much of her these past couple of months. Or her parents.”
“You’ve been busy,” Dolly says as I make the rubber ducky swim for Jess.
Jess takes the toy from me, and I sit back in my chair.
“So,” Dolly says softly. “You want to talk about it?”
Tears blur my vision. Jess moves the duck around, making vrooming sounds.
“I fell in love with him, Dolly,” I whisper. “Even though I knew this was going to happen. I went and did it anyway.”
Dolly smiles, her expression understanding. And filled with sadness too. “Funny how love works. Never seems to wait for a convenient time.”
She looks so kind, so caring, that I burst into tears again. Then, through slobbering sobs, I tell her the whole thing. From the beginning, when I hated Hopper, or told myself I did, right through to now. I leave nothing out. By the time I’m done, Dolly’s warmed up the water morethan once, and Jess is starting to get cranky. It’s her bedtime.
“Do you believe him?” Dolly asks, reaching for a towel.
“Who, Hopper?”
