Page 65 of Give & Take
I reallyreallywant to run my fingers through her hair, but force myself to resist. “I’m serious, Lana. Don’t ever be sorry about setting boundaries. I’ll always respect those. That is, so long as you want me to.”
She gives me a look like she’s not used to that. I wonder how many times people didn’t listen to her in the past. Then after a moment, she says, “I don’t know what I want.”
I turn forward, threading my fingers together. I tap my thumbs against each other. Then I tilt my head to look at her again. “I have a question.”
She looks nervous. “Oh really?”
“Okay, it’s less of a question than a theory.”
“I’m dying to hear it.”
“I know you want to keep things clean with the girls. That makes sense to me. I’m their nanny. You’re their mom.”
She swallows. I can hear it in the click of her throat. “Right.”
“But I don’t think that’s why you set those rules up. Or at least I don’t think that’s the main reason.”
“No?”
“Nope.” I pop the ‘p’.
“Please enlighten me then, Raphael. What was I thinking?”
I meet her eyes. “You were scared.”
Just a smidge too long of a beat goes by. Just enough to know I’m right.
“Scared?” she asks, her voice slightly tight. “Of what?”
“Of feeling something for your twenty-six year old nanny.”
She flushes hard. I can barely see it in the deep dusk, but it’s there. “You’re unbelievable.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
Lana closes her eyes, shaking her head slightly. But I see the tiny smile.
“Tell me you miss it, Lana. Just a little?”
“The shamelessflirting?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Liar.”
Her eyes open. “I—” I watch her throat bob, then she lets out a frustrated breath. “Maybe. A little.”
I laugh quietly, and her lips curl just the tiniest bit. Only for a brief moment, then they’re pursed tight again.
“Does that mean I can break the rules?” I ask. My veins heat, just a little. I will them to calm.
“Maybe,” she whispers.
My heart soars like a fucking rocket. She missed this. She wants this. I want badly to pull her onto my lap. To tell herI knew it, not in a cocky way, but in a way that tells her I never stopped believing before taking those perfect pink lips against mine.
But I know this doesn’t mean full steam ahead. The last thing I want to do is scare her off. So instead, I toe the ground, making us rock again.
