Page 53 of Give & Take
“He was just so…milquetoast.”
“Milquetoast!” I almost laugh.
He looks back down at me. “Yeah. Like about as exciting as stale white bread. Or cardboard. That Styrofoam casing electronics come packed in.”
This time I do laugh. “That’s awfully specific.”
“He has a role to fill in society. He’sthat guy.You know? But you deserve someone with a helluva lot more depth, Lana. Someone who can keep you on your toes. Someone who”—Raph eyes me, sees I’m receptive, and says—“who makes you feel beautiful, because you are. Who makes you laugh, because you have the most beautiful laugh, and the world needs to hear it. You deserve someone who appreciates the way you have this razor-sharp comeback for every comment. A person who wants to make your life easier, not add to your load.” He smiles, and this one is soft. Sweet. Knowing. “Someone who can handle the dark days as well as the sunny ones. Someone who’s not going to slip on a little ice but maybe knows how to melt it.”
My stomach flips at that. For a moment, I search his face for any sign of him hinting this could be him. ButRaphael’s expression is only sincere, his eyes deep and rich and so multi-faceted in this low light.
“You weren’t kidding, were you?” I ask softly.
“About what?”
“About having self-control.”
The barest hint of something flickers in his eyes. “Restraint is my specialty.”
Heat prickles across my sternum. He’s not flirting. He’s not, right? So why do those words send a shiver through me? Why do I think about how that restraint would play out in other ways? Ways that create a tingling pressure between my thighs?
“Anyway,” Raphael shrugs, lowering his hands onto his legs like he’s preparing to get up. “I’ll do whatever it takes to stick around this summer.”
He’s serious. Too serious.
“You really need the job, huh?” I say, trying and failing to keep my voice light.
“No.” His eyes lock onto mine. “I just really like you.”
My heart smacks against my ribs at that. But before I can say anything, Raphael gives his head the briefest shake. “I mean that genuinely, Lana. It’s not just a line. Just remember that, okay? You’re a really likable person.”
I scoff out loud. No one’s ever called me that before. A bitch, maybe. An ice queen. A killer in the courtroom. But likable?
Raphael’s face remains serious, his eyes on me.
Something in my chest seems to crack.
How does he do that? Convey information in total silence? Read me like a book when I so carefully bury things deep, deep inside where no one’s supposed to beable to see? It’s like he knows Iwantto be likable. I just think I don’t know how.
I nod, unsure why suddenly I feel like I wasn’t the one who started this conversation. “Okay,” I say.
Raphael smiles broadly, clapping his hand on the counter, his expression suddenly light. “Well, this is a load off, honestly. Clear boundaries. I like it.” He stands up, stretching. His shirt lifts, revealing a healthy span of that tanned skin at his waist, the dark hair just above the elastic of his briefs again.
I snap my eyes away before he can catch me.
Still, when I look back at him, I look for the smirk. But it’s not there. Just a plain, kind smile.
“Goodnight, Lana.”
I want to tell him to wait, that we’re not through yet.
But there’s nothing more to say. I did what I came here to do, and he’s right, clear boundaries are good. Perfect. Just what I need.
“Goodnight, Raphael.”
There’s absolutely no reason for me to feel so bereft when the door clicks behind him. No reason at all.
Chapter 16
