Page 44 of Give & Take
“Would your mom let you have more?” I ask, knowing the answer.
“Yes,” Nova says at the same time as Aurora says, “No.”
“Then we probably shouldn’t,” I say.
“Mom’s not the boss of you,” Nova reminds me.
She’s right. She isn’t. And right at that moment my brain conjures up the image of Lana at the bar, how beautiful she looks in her work clothes, with her hair all tied up on her head, a pencil stuck through the top.
Then I picture her on that date.
With that asshole.
Damn it.
A group of women in their twenties walk by in the sand in front of us, giggling, and wearing barely-there bikinis. I picture Lana, in her bikini. I turn away, leaning back on the boardwalk which we perched on the edge of to eat our donuts.
“Raph?” Aurora asks.
“Yeah?” I say.
“Why’s that lady smiling at you?”
I look up. A pretty woman with long dark hair is looking back at us. She waves at me.
“She wants to go on a date with him!” Nova says, overly loudly, like she’s cracked some big mystery.
The woman giggles. Now she’s walking backward.
A couple of weeks ago I would have given her a genuine big smile. A wink. Some kind of pithy comment she’d respond to and I’d have my own date.
I could still do that. But all I can do is spread my lips wide in a weird facsimile of a smile. What is happening to me?
I scowl, but forget to look away.
The woman drops her hand, looking confused. Then angry.
Because I’m still scowling.
Fuck. I rub my hand over my face.
“What’s a date?” Aurora asks.
“Dates are like, when you have…kissing feelings for someone,” Nova explains.
That’s a good explanation. And explains why the thought of dating that random woman—any random woman—feels shitty.
I have kissing feelings for Lana. I drop my hand.
Which means…“Daniel had kissing feelings,” I say out loud.
Aurora scrunches her nose. “Huh?”
“Who’s Daniel?” Nova asks.
Shit. I glance over at the girls. “No one.”
“Wait,” Nova says. “Is he that doctor guy?”
