“You could say that.” Holland smiles, but his forehead is creased, like he’s thinking hard.
“Did you and Mack recover your relationship after the tree fort incident?” I ask. It’s a totally leading question, because I partially know the brothers’ relationship has been strained, at least based on what Poppy told me. I shouldn’t be prying, but I can’t help it. I want to know.
“Actually, we sort of grew apart…for a bunch of reasons.” Holland sighs. “Some were my fault. Some were his. The birds were the least of them,” he adds ruefully. I stay quiet, letting him process his thoughts. “I think we both felt misunderstood, and that caused this canyon to open up between us.”
I want to ask why. I want him to tell me what those reasons are, but I clamp my tongue between my teeth. I’ve already taken this too far. I shouldn’t be so curious about Holland. I shouldn’t want to know.
“Anyway. I’m working on it with him,” Holland says. “I’m grateful he’s giving me a chance, and it’s been good.”
“That’s good.” I switch lanes. “How was your date?”
Better to keep focused on the reason we’re both here.
Holland plops down on the couch, setting his soup bowl on an end table. “I sent Belle home.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Vivian was ticked.”
I chew on that for a moment. “Because she liked Belle or…?”
“Because I’m eliminating too many people, too quickly,” Holland says with another sigh. “She told me I’m not going to have any candidates left at this rate. But I can’t help it.” He leans back into the couch. “Belle was nice. I mean, her over-the-top obsession withBeauty and the Beastwas a little much, but I could have looked past that if we had connected on a different level. But I wasn’t into her. Stringing her along when I knew that…it didn’t sit right with me. I’m not here to waste anyone’s time.”
“I’m sure Belle appreciated that.”
“I hope so. I keep feeling like I’m making a mess of all of this.” He looks over at me, his gaze earnest and raw. “I want to find someone.”
“What about the other women?” I reach up and mess with my hair, regathering it into a top knot. I plop down on his couch. “You don’t feel like there’s anyone left here who has potential for you?”
Holland stares at me for a long beat before blinking and looking at the ground. “I…I’m not sure.” He sits on the opposite side of the couch and looks toward the bookshelves. “I think maybe? But I don’t know. This entire thing is not going how I planned it out.”
Something tugs on my heart, and sympathy ripples down my spine. I know what it feels like to want to be in control and have that stolen away. It’s awful.
I’m not used to seeing Holland look despondent, but he seems to be stressed about theMost Eligible Misterstuff. I never thought of him as a guy who would want to settle down. He’s always seemed content to keep things casual with the women he’s been with since Poppy. But I guess I was wrong. Judging from how serious he’s taking the process of this show, he wants it to work for him.
“You shouldn’t give up on it,” I hear myself say. I blow out a breath. Apparently, I’m in the business of relationship pep talks now. “You’ve got some great women here.” I think of Mindy Sue and Britt, especially. They’re accomplished and beautiful and fun. They’d be great matches for Holland.
I glance over at him, and he’s staring at me again. He gives me a small smile. “Thanks. I know you’re right. It’s overwhelming. You can say you told me so,” he adds, his grin turning wry.
“I told you so,” I deadpan.
He laughs, and his shoulders drop. He lets his head fall back against the couch. “Your mom was sweet this morning.” He turns to look in my direction. “Everything still okay on the home front for you? Because if you have to leave, the offer still stands. To takea page out of Belle’s playbook, I don’t want to be like the beast, keeping you locked up in the castle.”
I snort. “I appreciate that.” I tug my knees to my chest. “Things are okay…for now.”
I don’t know if it’s the lingering effects from the cold medicine or what, but I find myself wanting to tell Holland more of the back story with my family, to make him understand why I am the way I am and why I’m doing what I’m doing here.
“My mom was diagnosed with Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy about five years ago.”
Holland frowns in confusion, so I go ahead and fill in the blanks for him.
“It’s a disease that affects her nervous system, and it’s been pretty crippling. She’s unsteady on her feet, and her arms are often tingly. It’s completely changed the way she lives. She used to be so active, and now she’s pretty restricted.”
Holland sits forward on the couch. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” I clear my throat. “It’s been an emotional tornado, for all of us. She handles it better than my dad and aunt and me most days.”
“She always seems so cheerful.”
“She is, but sometimes I wonder if she’s putting on a brave face for my benefit.” I sigh. “She’s the best person I know, and I’d do anything for her.”
Holland nods. “You’re a good daughter.”
