“I disagree. I can use my feelings to my advantage.”
My dad shakes his head. “You say that, but in practice, it never works.”
“I’ll make it work.”
Terry continues to watch us like he’s ready to pull out a bowl of popcorn and settle in for the show. My father notices his keen interest and sets his jaw. There’s nothing he dislikes more than making a scene. “We’ll table this discussion for the time being, but think long and hard about yourfeelingsoflove.” He uses air quotes. “Because you’re going to have to choose. Him or the job. And this job is all you have. It’s who you are. I’d hate to see you give that up for a man.”
I don’t react. I don’t let on that my heart pounds in each and every one of my fingertips and even down in my toes. I refuse to believe that what he’s said is true. I think about Anton’s list.About his belief in me. I can be more than who the agency—who my father—tells me to be. Iammore than that.
31
Suspicious with a Capital S
Rose
Iforce myself to sit up straighter in my chair at the upscale restaurant in a suburb of Green Bay and take a sip of wine. I’m at this bougie restaurant tonight because Charles told the team Duke is dining here. It’s all he’s been able to find out about the meeting on his calendar. That, and Duke told Charles, in no uncertain terms, that he is not needed or welcomed to join him for dinner.
Suspicious with a capital S if you ask me.
Enter me.
I’m here to observe Duke and report back.
Too bad I’ve been sitting here for two hours, and Duke has been alone the entire time. He’s typing on his laptop. I can’t get any closer to see if I can see what he’s writing, or I’ll risk blowing my cover. I can’t get up, period, because I’ll have to cross in front of his table, and I’m not sure my different shade of lipstick, heavier eye make-up, and updo will really hide my identity.
I catch sight of my reflection in the shiny silver spoon at my table, and I grimace. My stretched-thin-ness is showing in the bags under my eyes that even four layers of concealer didn’t conceal. I worked a full shift at Mood Reader today. Mia is still under the weather, poor thing, so I’m trying to cover for her as much as possible.
I slide my phone out of my pocketbook and peer at the time. It’s almost nine o’clock. I shift in my seat, and my mind wanders to Anton. I’ve been around the stadium—and him—every day this week. I’ve observed practices, talked to his coaches and theRiver Foxes staff, building out background information for my article. We’ve kept things strictly professional there. But at night, after practice is done for him and my shifts at Mood Reader are over, we have dinner together and talk and kiss and keep things decadently unprofessional.
He asked me to hang out tonight, and it felt like a sword to my Achilles tendon to lie to him. I told him I had promised Noli and Poppy that we could do our annual Christmas cookie baking night. We aren’t doing that until next week, and now I’m going to have to come up with another excuse when we actually are baking cookies.
See how the lies add up?
I’m slipping on the sludge of my deceit.
I’d much rather be with him, curled up in sweatpants, watching the movie he proposed:Miss Congeniality—my favorite. But instead, I’m here. With Duke.
The door to my right whooshes open, and my heart rate increases as my eyes bounce up to take in the new arrival. Maybe this is—finally—Duke’s guest.
It’s Anton.
I scream a long sequence of curse words in my mind and immediately drop my gaze and shove my chair back, ducking my head under the table and pretending to mess with the clasp on my high-heeled shoe.
What is he doing here?
Is he who Duke was planning to meet all along?
Why?
My dress goes from uncomfortable to suffocating as a layer of nervous sweat prickles my skin.
I sense Anton move toward Duke’s table, and I wait an extra moment before I inch up from my position. Anton takes his seat, and mercifully, he’s got his back to me.
But now what do I do?
My phone buzzes, and I scramble to grab it, nearly sending it clanking to the ground in my haste. I’ve got a new message from my dad.
Lennox
