“What do you have to say to that, Officer Rattler?” The moderator opens the floor to me.
I was expecting the conversation to turn to my personal life at some point, and I’m prepared. I lean closer to the microphone. “Only that I applaud Sheriff McDermit for his commitment to ourcounty and to his family. I know there’s been a lot of speculation about me and my personal life, but I can honestly say I’ve never been happier, and I look forward to joining the ranks of married men in the near future.”
A buzz echoes throughout the auditorium. They’re hanging on my every word, so I deliver the rest of my planned statement.
“For over six months, I’ve been dating an amazing woman—someone I met on the job, actually. My fiancée, Noli, is a public servant herself.” I turn back and smile at Noli before facing forward again. “She works as a 911 dispatcher for Cashmere County. I’m looking forward to the same sort of partnership with her as the kind Sheriff McDermit described.”
I wait for the inevitable sour taste of the lie to hit my tongue, but when it doesn’t, I realize my words weren’t as much of a lie as I thought they’d be. In fact, I kind of wish they were true. I’d be darn lucky to get to do life with Noli by my side. The thought should scare me, but I feel more of a longing than anything.
“Congratulations to you both.” The moderator offers me a polite smile. “What a handsome couple you make.”
I dip my head in acknowledgement and wait for the next round of questions, but Sheriff McDermit clears his throat and speaks into the microphone.
“Yes, congratulations, indeed. But a word to the wise. Marriage is hard work, and so is being a sheriff. Dare I say it takes a special sort of woman to handle the role of sheriff’s wife? I would hate to see your fledgling marriage fail because you’re putting too much strain on it with your career.”
He clucks his tongue, and I hear my dad grunt behind me.
That was a low blow by the incumbent. So much for keeping things civil. My mind races with how I want to handle Sheriff McDermit’s statement. Now that he’s said it, if and when Noli and I break up, which is inevitable, everyone is going to blame the job and say that Noli couldn’t handle it—if, God willing, I win the election.
But Noli absolutely could hack it as a sheriff’s wife.
I lean into the microphone. “While I thank you for your two cents, I don’t think it’s fair for you to make assumptions about us. Our marriage will be between Noli and myself, but for the record, I have complete faith in her ability to manage whatever life throws at her. She’s the strongest, most impressive woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Quite frankly, I’m marrying way up.” I toss a wink over my shoulder at Noli, and she shakes her head, a slight grin of exasperation on her face.
The audience titters.
Good. Let’s take the focus off the fact that our marriage is doomed to fail from the start.
I, for one, would rather not think about that.
26
Lighthouse Heart-to-Heart
Noli
Idon’t know how Collin keeps his composure like he does. I’m not even the center of attention, and I’m pretty sure I’ve completely sweated through the back of my dress. I’m trying to bring my A-game, to look poised and self-assured, but it’s been a day.
Work was chaotic, and then I rushed home to change so I could make it here in time for this, and I found an envelope from Nelson slid under the apartment door. It was addressed to Collin’s house again, but he must’ve left it for me.
Dump your pathetic excuse for a fiancé and come home where you belong. I’ll be waiting.
I crumpled it up and shoved it in my drawer, cursing Nelson for contacting me again.
Actually, I’m shocked I wasn’t more freaked out by his message. I should be. But I was thinking about Collin, and knowing he lives right next door and that we’re a team made me feel better.
And I did start seeing a therapist when we got home from Pensacola. I mean, I panicked and bound Collin up in a fake marriage the moment my ex appeared. It was time to be proactive. I’ve had six sessions so far with a sweet lady named Vicki, and we’re unpacking my history. She’s all about owning and validating my feelings and experiences. She’s also all about the truth.
I shift my feet on the stage behind Collin. I still haven’t had the courage to tell him the full story about how Nelson has been badgering me from afar with these anonymous letters. I don’t know why I haven’t. He’s made it clear I can trust him, and a partof me wants to let him in. Another—bigger—part of me feels like he’s already seen so much of the crud that is my personal life that I don’t want to reveal any more to him.
There also hasn’t been much time. When we hang out, we keep things light. Lately, we’ve both been busy with work, and he’s had extra stuff to deal with to prep for this debate and everything else the sheriff campaign requires. It’s weird. I miss him, even though he’s right there. That’s a problem. Because Collin isn’t technically mine to miss.
I can’t help but feel like he’s way too good for me.
I can’t help but feel like Sheriff McDermit is right.
I’m a mess, and Collin’s real wife someday will be someone much more poised, much less tainted.
But for now, I’m doing everything I can to play the part.
