I glance away from him.
“No one would ever expect you to handle the emotional hurricane you just experienced alone.”
“It’s really fine.”
“No, it’s not.” Collin raises his voice a touch. Just enough to let me know that he’s invested in this. Invested in me.
My breath catches in my throat. “Collin, stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Caring.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not worth it.”
He reaches up and cups my face with his hands. “Yes, you are.”
At the force he put into his words, the dam behind my eyelids breaks, and tears start streaming down my cheeks. Now I’m getting his hands all wet.
“I think there’s something else going on here.”
I shake my head. I’ve already told him too much. I don’t want him to know Nelson’s been stalking me. It’s humiliating enough as it is.
“Has Nelson bothered you like this before?”
He studies me, and I force myself to meet his gaze.
“No.” The lie tastes like sour milk on my tongue. I swallow.
“You can talk to me, you know. You don’t have to carry this alone.” He’s earnest. Calm. Exactly how I’d expect a law enforcement officer to be. But there’s an extra undercurrent there. Something in his tone that makes me feel like he cares for me. It has me wanting to open up.
“I—” I begin, collecting my thoughts. “I hate how weak I feel because of him. I’m used to being strong.”
Collin dips his chin, drawing my eyes to his. “Youarestrong.“ I shake my head. “You are,” he insists. “But you don’t have to be.”
I try to look away, but Collin presses his fingers gently into my cheeks. “Listen to me, Magnolia. Noli. Sorry,” he corrects. “I want you to hear this.” He waits for me to meet his gaze. “You can be soft with me, okay?”
The green in his irises is glowing with the intensity of this declaration. It’s perhaps the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Deep down, I know I don’t need permission to crack and break and not have myself completely together one hundred percent of the time, but it’s easier to believe it when someone like Collin speaks it out loud.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I close my eyes, and we sit in silence as a long moment passes between us. The air in the room feels thick with emotion. I can’t help but think about how I’ve left a lot unsaid. Those secrets are crowding in on me. The truth of my growing admiration for the man here with me. The reality of the effect my ex has had and continues to have on me with his letters and texts. But I know nothing productive can come from hashing it all out tonight. I’ll tell him about it sometime. Just not right now. I blink to find Collin looking at me with such tenderness it steals my breath. He clears his features, and I exhale. “I’m exhausted.”
His hands tighten on my cheeks for a moment, as if he realizes that he’s still cradling my face. He gently releases me, pausing to brush some of my matted hair off my forehead. He tucks it behind my ear.
“Yeah. It’s been a long day.”
That’s the understatement of the century. I can’t believe this morning we were on the flight from hell.
He stands up off the bed, and I scooch toward the headboard. He pulls back the covers, and I crawl underneath. He tucks them in around me and gazes down at my face.
There’s something in his expression. Something I can’t quite place. I could stare at it all night, I think.
“Goodnight, Noli.” Collin pulls the cord on the lamp, and the room goes dark. But the outline of his face is fresh in my mind.
“Night, Collin.”
I hear rustling as he burrows into his pillow fort.
