“How many times have you made sure you have your boarding pass? Thephysical copyof your boarding pass, which you could easily access from your phone.”
I yank my zipper shut and order the blood to stop rushing into my cheeks.
Ever since our bowling date, Collin and I have orbited each other a little more closely. I don’t really know what to do with this newfound neutral territory I’m in where he’s concerned. He still drives me up a wall, but I no longer think he’s doing it out of spite. It’s more of a friendly ribbing.
I don’t know how to handle it. At all.
We’ve tried to keep things as low key as possible in an attempt not to draw more attention than necessary to our…situationship. We have a standing dinner date out in town each week and then we watch a movie in Collin’s living room. We’ve made our way through the Nora Ephron classics of the ‘90s, and last week, we watchedThe Proposal. I didn’t even feel self-conscious in front of him when I cracked up over Betty White dancing in the Alaskan woods.
May she rest in peace.
It’s funny. Collin and I are pretending to be involved, but I don’t have to pretend to be anyone I’m not in front of him. I’m not trying to impress him. I’m not putting on a front. It’s freeing.
“I like to be prepared,” I say. “What if I couldn’t get the app to load or something?”
“You’d be stuck forever in Green Bay, Wisconsin.” Collin throws a hand over his forehead dramatically. “I would go on without you, and you’d have to miss the entire bachelor/bachelorette weekend. Wecertainlywouldn’t be able to ask the gate attendant to help us look up a new boarding pass for you. There’sno waywe’d solve that problem.”
He’s mocking me. I press my lips together and refuse to dignify his teasing with a response, even if my lips are trying their darndest to quirk.
“Come on, Noli. Lighten up! We’re off the clock. This is supposed to be a fun weekend.”
“Right. Fun.” My echo of a smile falls. Because we’re headed to Pensacola.
Poppy wanted to have her bachelorette party there. She thought it would be a great chance to show Mack where we grew up. Some of her high school friends whom she’s kept in touch with are going to join us, and really, it should be fine. But I have this deep-seated fear that I could run into Nelson. It’s coloring my entire perspective a strong shade of gray.
“Alright. I’m ready.” Collin saunters out of the shop past me, hiking up his backpack higher onto his back. He glances over his shoulders. “You coming? We don’t want to be late.”
I scowl at him. “You’re impossible.”
“That’s why you love me. Now hurry up, buttercup.We’ve got a flight to catch.” He holds out his hand, and I hesitate before grabbing it.
Not because I abhor Collin.
Somehow I’ve moved past my hate.
I hesitate because I find myself wanting to grab for his hand, wanting him to be a buffer against any and all bad memories of Nelson and Pensacola. But I can’t want that. It’s too dangerous for my heart.
But we’re in public. And I need to hold up my end of the deal. So I reach out my arm, and he locks our fingers together, gently tugging me toward him.
“Not so bad, right?” he says.
“Defineso bad. Are we talking bad like no donuts at work? Or bad like a multi-car pile-up during a winter storm?” I razz him, hoping it’ll keep my pesky feelings—the ones that are creeping up my spine, whispering,You like holding his hand—at bay.
“You tell me.”
I pause, feigning like I’m mulling it over.
“Please don’t tell me you’re actually comparing me to a car crash scene.”
I tip my head back and forth. “Well…”
“Kasper, are you teasing me?” Collin laughs outright at that. It’s a full-body, immersive sound. I’ve heard it before—he’s a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. But this is different. He’s not putting on a show. He seems to be delighted—charmed, even—by me and by this entire arrangement. I swallow down a smile of my own. I like that I can make Collin laugh a real laugh.
I give my head a small shake. It really shouldn’t matter to me. Collin is a means to an end. That’s all. I look down the long terminal hallway. “What’s our gate number again?”
“Is that a serious question? You’ve only checked your boarding pass sixteen times.”
I stick my tongue out at him.
