I’d love to pry. To try to pull back some more of the layers that are piled over her heart, but again, if I push, I’m certain she’ll retreat. That’s the last thing I want.
So instead, I use the tip of my finger to tilt her chin up until she’s looking at me.
“I think that’s more words than you’ve ever spoken to me at a single time,” I tease to lighten the mood.
Noli arches both her eyebrows in challenge. “So?”
I feel my spirits rising. “Am I going to get to see a whole new side to you, Kasper, thanks to our arrangement?”
“What can I say? I contain multitudes.” There’s a spark in her eye. It’s like a lighthouse amidst the sea.
“Huh?” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, because that feels like a boyfriend-y thing to do right now.
She blinks. “It’s poetry, Rattler. Try to keep up.”
“You’re a closet poet? This is something I should know about my girlfriend.”
She shakes her head, her eyes laughing, light flickering. “Rose is the poet in the family. But she used to bore Poppy and me by reciting her favorite lines from different books. Some of it stuck. I’m pretty sure I just quoted Walt Whitman.”
“The guy who invented Disney World?”
Noli gives me a look that saysare you for real?“That would be WaltDisney.”
I crack a grin. “I’m just messing with you.”
“Uh-huh.” She doesn’t sound convinced. “Sure you are.” She tousles my hair, and I’m so stunned by her forwardness that I lean away.
She hesitates, pulling back, and in that moment, I know I want nothing more than to get closer to her. Call me crazy.
I grab for her hand and hold onto it as I lead her down the alleyway. “Come on. Pizza Master Kenny’s pizza is calling.”
10
Butterfly Ashes
Noli
Collin’s hand is strong and sure against mine, his grip warming me from the outside in, as he leads me into Romeo’s. The only way to describe the feeling in my stomach right now is butterflies. Or maybe birds. Because the fluttering going on in my chest feels more like large, feathered aviary wings than dainty, thin, butterfly wings. But the cliché is to say butterflies, so we’re going with that.
In any case, I need to lock the flying creatures down. Did you know the average butterfly only lives for two to four weeks? It’s true. And fitting. Butterflies in your stomach cannot be counted on. Cannot be a reliable indicator of your feelings. And should not, under any circumstances, be considered something happy or good.
Those suckers are about to die a swift, swift death.
But here’s the thing: it’snicebeing on Collin’s arm. It felt good to be honest with him. To admit that I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to being one half of a partnership, specifically a romantic partnership—regardless of whether or not it’s real. I’m so used to keeping my guard up and my walls high that I’d forgotten the relief that comes with letting someone in.
Even a smidgen.
I’m relishing the feeling. Hence the aforementioned butterflies.
But it can’t last. It won’t.
Still, as Collin holds the door to Romeo’s open for me and hits me with the full force of his smile, dimples flashing and green eyes laser-pointed at me, I decide to go with it for tonight.
If only because we’re putting on a show for my sisters and Mack. Sure, they saw us together while we were packing up and unloading my stuff. But this is more of a date-like setting. We may as well sell our arrangement.
“What’s your favorite kind of pizza?” Collin leans close and says this into my ear, causing a shiver to travel up my spine.
Note to self: bundle up around Collin to avoid extra shivering at all costs.
