“Obviously,” I say, upping her snootiness with a hint of my own arrogance.
“So you’re rescinding your proposal?” Her voice is level.
I blink and look her directly in the eye. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out her expression. Is she annoyed? Angry? Laughing at me? What is it about this woman that makes her impossible to read?
Before I can say anything else, my phone lights up on the coffee table.
“Yeah, it’s been buzzing like crazy all morning.” Noli motions to it. “Don’t let me, a woman who you wouldneverdate or, God forbid, marry, keep you. Now that I know you’re not going to die, I’m out.”
“Fine by me.” I snatch the phone off the table and unlock it.
“A thank you would be nice, you know,” she spits out.
I barely hear her. I’ve got over twenty texts from my father and five missed calls. “What the heck?”
Noli stops with her hand on my front doorknob. “What is it?”
I click open the first message.
Pops:You want to tell me what you were thinking?
Below the message, he sent a link. I click on it, my stomach churning for reasons having nothing to do with alcohol. The link takes me to a news article. The heading readsSheriff Candidate Cuddles Up to Mystery Woman After a Night on the Town.
There’s a photo of Noli and me on the sidewalk.
I curse and press my eyes closed, my headache intensifying.
“Would you tell me what’s going on?” Noli asks, annoyance clear as day.
I turn the phone out so she can see the article.
She scans it and lets out a mirthless chuckle. “I’m guessing that’s not the image you were hoping to portray as a candidate for sheriff.”
I toss my phone on the couch. “It’s like I went and proved to everyone that I’m the walking, talking stereotype they all believe me to be.”
“I hate to break it to you, but youdolook like a playboy, draped all over me.”
“I wasn’t draped all over you,” I snap back. “I wouldn’t do that.” Even intoxicated, I respect women. “Besides”—I point at her—“you’re the one with your armaround me.”
The color of Noli’s cheeks deepens. “There was literally no other way I could move you. You’re a lot bigger than me. I could have left you on the side of Main Street. Is that the image you would have preferred everyone to see?” Her eyes are blazing as she stares me down.
I scrub my hands over my face. I’m being a jerk, and I know it. I shake my head. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I’m sorry for inconveniencing the superior Magnolia Kasper. Go. It’s my mess to sort out.”
“And you’ve really stepped in it.” Noli makes a move like she’s going to open the door but then freezes. Her shoulders tug together, and I’m waiting for her to lay into me again with some other put-down I’m sure I deserve but really don’t want to hear right now. Instead, she says, “Can I see the article?”
I toss her my phone because I’m too hungover to try to figure out her endgame.
She scrolls through it, pausing to enlarge the photo. She turns it to me. “You know, we do look like we’re having a good time.”
“I’m sure you were having a good time, listening to me make a fool of myself,” I say bitterly.
“Oh, definitely.” She shoots me a full-blown smile at that, and I’m momentarily blinded by it. Noli doesn’t smile like that super often.
But oh, how I wish she would.
“Too bad you’dneverdate me. Or marry me. Look at us. We could be a cute couple.”
I take the phone back from her and study the photo. It was taken from across Main Street. Noli has both arms around my waist. She’s staring straight ahead, smirking. If I had to guess, I probably said something completely outrageous, and she was trying to figure out what to do with me.
