“Does he reach out often?”
“Hardly ever. He picks the worst possible moment to remind me that he exists. The first time he reached out after he left us alone was the day Gram died. He called her house phone. I told him she was gone and begged him to come home. To help us. To help me. He stuttered something about needing to go and hung up. I didn’t hear from him again for another two years.”
“Boo,” Mack says my nickname with righteous indignation laced within his usual low tone. It feels good…to have someone like him on my side.
I muster up a wry grin. “It’s fine. I’m okay.”
“What did he want?” He starts rubbing my back ever so gently.
I relax at his touch. It’s soothing, like the first sip of an iced latte on a hot summer day. “I’m not entirely sure. His text said he heard I moved.”
“Did you respond?”
“I textedyes, and he didn’t reply to that.” I massage my temples. “I wish I knew his end game. Does he want to see me? To see my sisters?”
“What would you do if he asked?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I honestly don’t know.”
“That’s okay.”
I’m quiet for a moment, staring out the windshield. Mack’s gaze bores into the side of my cheek. “This has been a question of my life for some time. I mean, who leaves their children without saying goodbye? With nothing but a note that says,I can’t do this?” I hold out my hands, palms up.
“I still don’t know what ‘this’ is, but I’ve always assumed he meant parenting. Basically, he said he couldn’t handle my sisters and me. Or he wouldn’t. Or he didn’t want to. I don’t know.”
“That was an awful thing for him to do.” Mack’s voice is measured, but I can sense the undercurrent of anger on my behalf.
I shoot him a grateful look. “I’ve spent a lot of time being angry at him. Ticked off at the position he left me in, with Noli and Rose to look after. What if I would have thrown up my hands and said I couldn’t handle it? I didn’t have that option. I had other people relying on me. People who should have been able to rely on him.Ishould have been able to rely on him.”
I pinch my eyes closed. “With time, some of my anger has faded and turned to sadness. Sadness padded with a lot of questions. Does he miss us? Does he regret his decision? I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why he left. I don’t know if he deserves my forgiveness. But when he reaches out like this, it always starts me spiraling. What if he wants to come back into my life and asks for another chance? Should I offer it?”
I drag in a ragged breath.
Mack reaches up and wipes at the tears I didn’t realize have started to fall from my eyes again.
I blink and savor his touch against my skin.
“It’s okay, Boo.”
And you know what? I believe him. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to confide in someone about my dad. Sure, Noli and Rose and I talk about him, but I’m careful not to burden them with these sorts of thoughts and feelings. I’m the oldest. I’m the keeper of the family. Whether I wanted to be or not, it’s who I am.
But it sure is nice to have someone take care of me for a change.
I rest my head back down on Mack’s shoulder, and he drapes his arm across my back.
After a couple minutes, he says, “I don’t know what to say about your dad, but I can help with the porta-potty issue.”
I raise my head and turn so I can look at his eyes. “You can?”
He nods. “Let me talk to the builders at my construction site. They contract with a company. I’m sure we can find some”—he clears his throat—“units.”
I bury my head into the crook of his shoulder. “I should scold you for making fun of me, but I’m seriously so grateful. You think they’ll be able to find some for us to use.”
Mack grunts in the affirmative.
I sigh. “I should have known you’d come to the rescue.”
“Why’s that?”
