The dust churns up as she drives away.
Holland clears his throat. “My bad.”
I barely hear him. I just stare at Poppy’s tail lights.
“I’m going to go to Mom and Dad’s,” he says quietly. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
You’ve done enough.
I think the words but don’t say them out loud. Sure, it would be easy to blame Holland, but this is my fault. I should have told Poppy about the emails from the beginning. I never should have agreed to deceive her in the first place.
Holland retraces his steps and climbs into his car, and I wait until he’s down the road before I let my hands fall to my knees, a renewed wave of grief bowling me over and making it difficult to breathe.
I hurt Poppy, and she’s gone.
29
Daddy Issues
Poppy
Iusemyelbowto knock the door to Noli’s room open. She’s sitting in her bed, staring out the window. She doesn’t look my way.
“I brought you some soup.”
She sighs and turns to me. “Pops, I’m not an invalid.”
“Soup is a comfort food.” I sit down on the edge of the bed. It dips under my weight, and some soup sloshes onto the floor. Dang it. I’ll have to scrub that up so we don’t leave a stain.
We’re staying in a month-to-month, fully furnished rental property. I managed to get a lease agreement signed for us the day I arrived in Florida. Thanks to my former landlord’s glowing recommendation (I owe Mack big time) and two months rental payment up front, we were able to move right in here after Noli was discharged from the hospital.
That was two days ago.
It’s hard to believe I’ve been in Pensacola for less than a week. In some ways, it feels like it’s been one really, really long day, and in other ways, it feels like I’ve been here forever.
I shift on the bed, trying to get comfortable. It’s a little lumpy, but we’ve lived in worse places.
I hold out the soup. “Please, eat it. For me.”
“Fine.” Noli takes the bowl from me and starts stirring it. “I’m still mad at you.”
I cross my arms and wait for her to continue.
“You shouldn’t be here, taking care of me, looking after me. You have your own life.”
I scoff. “As if I’d leave you in the hospital alone. Come on, Noli.”
“I know. I know. But I feel so guilty.” Her eyes well up with tears. “I should be able to handle myself. I’m a grown woman.”
I scoot up on the bed and grab the bowl back from her, setting it on the end table before wrapping her in a giant hug. This is why I’m here. Because my baby sister is going through it right now. Her self-confidence is in the toilet. She broke up with Nelson the second she regained consciousness, but she’s still rattled by what happened.
“Even grown women need hugs. And help,” I say, gripping her tighter. “It’s okay, Noli.”
“It doesn’t feel okay.”
I hold her close before broaching what has become a touchy subject between the two of us. “Are you sure you don’t want to press charges?”
She stiffens. “I want to be done with it. I don’t want to give him my time or thoughts. I don’t ever want to see him again.” She’s quiet for a second. “It was my own fault for letting it get this far. I’m an idiot.”
