Page 28 of Broken Alpha
“It will never know the knot of an Alpha again, only the cock of an Omega,” I smirked, eliciting a rumble of laughter from him.
“How are you feeling? Too much?”
“It was perfect, Alpha,” I mumbled, suddenly exhausted.
Luke held me, kissing my forehead softly as sleep took over.
Aidyn
Erik has all but stopped talking to me unless it was necessary. He has even gone so far as to move seats in the classes that we shared, no longer sitting beside me and being the petty, pouty asshole that he was. I was done trying to talk to him. If he wanted something like this to come between us, it was on him. I never led him on, and I established that my heat with him was a mistake and he had no chance, yet he had it ingrained in his skull that I was being difficult and would see the error of my ways eventually.
Being ‘friend-zoned’ is a myth. Forcing someone to like you isn’t how affection and attraction work. If someone felt thatbeing placed in the friend category is the worst thing in the world, then they weren’t a real friend and didn’t care about the person in the first place. Erik was quickly proving that we were nothing more than his attraction and lost to me—and I won’t lie, it fucking hurt. Making friends has always been hard, and being an Omega made it harder. Society has taught the world that Omegas are nothing more than baby factories and we’re fragile creatures. We’re always on guard to protect ourselves in case something happens, and most Betas viewed us as competition for partners. We’re either a fetish or instinct.
I thought Erik was different, but apparently not. Luke noticed right away because, of course, he did. He never asked questions; he just told me to contact him if I needed him or to leave the apartment. Within a week of Erik giving me the silent treatment and ignoring me, I contacted Luke. I packed an overnight bag, and he was at my place within the hour, and now I was rarely home. It occurred to me one evening that I didn’t have a reason to go home anymore when my mate and nest were all at Luke’s apartment, but I still felt like I was intruding. I waited for Luke to tire of me, but he hadn’t said anything.
He didn’t say anything when I vented about Erik, only comforting me as the pressure got to be too much, and I broke down, realizing I was losing someone important to me. As if I was mourning a family member, and despite having Luke, it was very isolating. However, when it had passed, I was left with only anger. I was angry that Erik felt that this was how he could treat me, angry that he would rather throw years away simply because I didn’t like him back. That our friendship meant more to me than it did to him. Fine. That’s on him and not on me. I had more important shit to worry about.
Midterms had passed, but the workload increased the closer we got to finals. Many of the teachers had quizzes prepared to ensure that we were ready for the final, and others had multipleprojects that were due. My stress levels were at an all-time high. Luke helped me study, but it felt peculiar to study for a test given to you by a teacher whose knot had been inside you only moments before. I did enjoy his reward system, though. He had also gone the extra mile, giving me some of the quizzes he had done over the previous years to fill out and test my knowledge. I used them as study guides for the midterms, highlighting key information I would need to pass. Most nights, Luke made dinner while I sat at the kitchen bar, my notes and guides spread across the countertop. Though my brain was foggy today, and I struggled to focus.
“You alright? You keep spacing,” Luke asked, interrupting me from reading the same sentence six times.
“Yeah, just struggling to concentrate, and I can’t figure out why or how to focus.”
With a sigh, I gathered my notes and the quizzes, placing them inside my textbook before pushing them off to the side and out of the way. The brain fog was getting worse, becoming too exhausting to fight through it in hopes that something I was studying would stick. I watched as Luke seared the salmon fillets he had sitting on a plate before re-plating them. He then started working on a Parmesan sauce, starting with sautéing the garlic and sun-dried tomatoes.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, but I didn’t know how to bring it up,” Luke said cautiously, adding white wine to the pan and letting it simmer before adding heavy cream and Parmesan cheese to create a thick sauce.
“Bring what up?”
Again, he was silent as he added the salmon back to the pan, letting it simmer for a bit as he spooned the sauce over it. Finally, he plated the salmon with asparagus and placed the dishes on the bar, but he didn’t move.
“I haven’t noticed a change in your pheromones, but I have noticed a change in your behavior as of late. You’re spacing out in class, when we talk and when you’re studying. You’ve been coming over here for the past month since Harllow stopped talking to you, and I’ve noticed you’ve been antsy. Spending more time in your nest, you’ve even brought some things home from your apartment to place in the nest.”
“And?”
Where was he going with this? Have I begun to overcrowd him? I realized recently that we’ve been acting more domesticated than usual, as if we were already living together, even though I knew that wasn’t the case. I had forced my way into his home and left things here. The second we walked through the door, I would change out of my daily clothing and into a pair of pajama pants and his hoodie. He had been kind enough to let me stay, but maybe I was starting to become too much.
“Hey,” Luke reached over the counter to take my hand, forcing me to look at him. “None of that. I’m mentioning this because I’m worried about something you said before. Your heats haven’t followed a set schedule, and you went into heat while on suppressants in my office. With the stress of Harllow, the past midterms, upcoming projects, and you spacing out, I’m worried your heat will show up unplanned like it had in September. I want to be prepared in case that happens.”
Holy fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I was experiencing pre-heat symptoms. I had been on suppressants so long that I didn’t even recognize the signs. Once I get to this point, it could happen either tomorrow or weeks from today. It was so unpredictable that I was a ticking bomb, ready to go off any second. Fuck! Panic spiked through me as my brain began to move a mile a minute, affecting my breathing as the panic attack began to set in.
“It’s okay.” Luke made his way around the counter, taking me into his arms and holding my head against his chest. “I should’ve brought this up sooner. I noticed the spacing out only this week, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong. Lately, once dinner is over, you curl up on the couch in my scent and your blankets with one of the plushies, something you haven’t done until now. If I’m correct, I know this is a really bad time. But I want to have a plan in place. Do you want to hear my ideas?”
I silently nodded, my brain fighting through the fog and going into overdrive as I thought about the next few weeks. Should I contact Dr. Easton and tell him plans have changed? Could I get on the trial medication as soon as this heat is over? If I was going into heat, was it too late to stop it? I made a mental note to ask in the morning.
“You will continue to stay with me as you have been. We’ll swing by your apartment later if you need anything more for your heat. If you go into heat, I’ll call in sick. I have plenty of sick leave saved because I never actually use any of it. If I am not with you, I want you to text me the fire emoji before it gets to be too much, and wherever I am, I’ll come to you. There is an app that can track friends, and we can set that up. You can watch me come to you. I will be there, regardless of what I’m doing.”
“What if it happens if I go into heat during a different class? Or even if we’re in the middle of your lecture? Or what happens if you’re not here to let me in?”
Luke pulled away and set a key ring on the counter. There were two sets of keys on the ring. One had the letter O stamped on the front beneath the window cutouts, and the other had an H. He pushed the ring closer to me.
“One is the key to this apartment, and the other will get you into my office. Regardless if you’re at school, you need to leave that classroom any way you can. Head straight for my office,and lock the door behind you. I left some of your blankets in my office this morning; they’re in the bottom drawer of my desk. Stay there until I can come get you and bring you home.”
My eyes widened, and I turned to look at him, his face serious but determined. Not only had he picked up subtle hints that I might be in pre-heat before I did, but he had also made spare keys and tried to make his office a safe place until he could reach me. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pulled him into a hug, burying my face into his chest so my Omega could drink in his scent. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, how grateful I was that it seemed he had thought of everything while I was oblivious to what my Omega was telling me. Yet, as I opened my mouth to tell him, those three words were replaced with a “thank you,” and I was left struggling to find a reason why I couldn’t tell him how I felt, while also wondering how on earth this man could be so good to me.
The following morning I woke to an empty bed and Luke’s muffled voice from beyond the bedroom door. I found a sweatshirt he had left for me at the foot of the bed and pulled it on before leaving the bedroom. I was instantly hit with the scent of burnt cloves and citrus, his pheromones indicating that Luke was agitated and angry. I had left my glasses in the bedroom in search of him and found his fuzzy frame in the living room, pacing, his phone to his ear, with his back turned to me. I slid my arms around his waist, resting my head against his broad back as I pulled him against me.
Instantly his body relaxed, leaning into my touch while I released some of my pheromones to taper the burning anger within him. My Omega’s purr rolled out of my chest, vibrating against his back as his arm clutched mine.
