“You drovehalfwayacross the country to stay with some guy you barely know and are whoring yourself out for room and board?” I might have mentioned the fact that Elliot and I had been more than just friendly when he’d been in Richmond as a way of trying to explain to my charming twin why I’d decided to comehere.
I was about to object when I realized that Noah wasn’t entirely wrong. “I don’t think my room and board are contingent on the sex,” is what I said. I’d meant it to be reassuring. Apparently I failed at that.
“Youthink?!”
I rolled my eyes, even though my overprotective twin couldn’t see it. “I didn’t explicitly ask him if I was exchanging sex in lieu of money for rent and food, but he also didn’task.”
“Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Noah muttered.
“Leave them out of it, please.”
“Seth, you’re literally some sort of… food whore.”
“Would you rather I took up crack?” I asked, irritably. I was aware, even then, that part of my irritation was due to the fact that he wasn’t entirely wrong. And I didn’t really like the notion that Elliot might expect me to essentially compensate him with sex.
“No, I wouldratheryou weren’t a self-delusional sex worker.”
“Don’t be snobby about sex work,” I told him.
“Fine, asshole. I wouldratheryou weren’t in a coercive relationship in which you feel obligated to have sex with some guy just because you’re homeless. Which you wouldn’t be if he hadn’t convinced you to leave Richmond.”
“Elliot didn’t convince me to leave Richmond. He said I’d have a place to stay if I wanted to come to Shawano.”
“How is that not convincing you?—”
“He offered hospitality, Noah. He didn’ttellme to move out here.”
“The brother I know?—”
“Doesn’t exist anymore, Nono. He has fur and fangs now, and no job in Richmond, and might be able to get one out here.”
Noah was quiet for a moment. “I got you a job, Sethy.” He sounded hurt.
Now I felt like a dick. “I know. But this could be another CSI job. You know, what Ido. Besides, I’ve taken enough from you.”
“No such thing. You’re mybrother.”
“I know, Noah. And I’ll always be grateful for you and I love you. But I need to do this.”
“Be exploited for sex?”
I sighed. This was not going well. “Noah, I promise you that if anyone is exploiting anyone, it’s me exploiting Elliot for food and shelter.”
He sighed, the sound heavy and resigned. “Fine, but I’m reminding you of this every ten minutes for however long it takes me to drive you back here when things turn ugly.” I didn’t appreciate the fact that he’d said ‘when,’ not ‘if.’
I echoed his sigh. “Noah, I drove myself out here. I have a car.”
“I’ll fly out and you can drive us both back just so I can say ‘I fucking told you so.’”
“Gee, thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say. Neither did he. After a long pause, Noah spoke again.
“Love you, Sethy.”
I sighed again. “Love you, too, Nono.”
He hung up, and I put my head down on my arms, resting on the desk Elliot had almost certainly used in high school. The worst part was that Noah was probably right. I was undoubtedly going to get my heart broken again because Elliot had made itcrystal clear that he was only interested in me for sex, and that was it. Not that I wasn’t interested in him for sex, because holy shit, yeah. But I was also just plain interested. In his life. His thoughts. And absolutely his heart. He just wasn’t looking to give that away, and he’d been honest and up front about it.
Rule Fucking Two. No emotional entanglements.
