Page 1 of The Truth of Our Secrets
Chapter one
Emmet
Icurse Alec for luring me to this fancy upscale restaurant I can’t afford with the promise of free drinks and the chance to play in a pickup hockey league. My phone pings with his cancelation text and zero explanation. Since he’s my boss, I can’t punch the shit out of him.
I should be relieved this adult version of a playdate is a no-go. As if I wanted to meet his BFF and her husband.
But playing hockey again would’ve been worth suffering through the introduction.
Dammit.
Scanning the restaurant for my server to pay for my soda, which probably costs as much as my usual lunch, I mindlessly drum the tune in my head on the table.
My gaze snags onherat a high-top table in the corner and I freeze.
At the sight of Miss Rose, the past rushes back with the force of a bullet train, stealing my air. My forbidden crush. I’d dreamt of an alternate reality where I could run my fingers through her long red hair…map out the freckles across her nose…she’d blush and bite her bottom lip when she saw me, unable to look away. The ultimate fantasy of locking the art room door and tasting her lips. But knowing she was off-limits and nothing would ever happen in real life. And the crushing disappointment mixed with a dark desire when she started fucking someone else.
She’d come to school smelling of sex and provided the undisputable clue that I was bi. I’d always admired men’s bodies. The power and strength of my teammates. How their muscles flexed during lift and how their abs crunched from a pull-up or sit-up. How their sweat-slicked skin glowed. It felt like normal admiration. But when I smelled a man’s cum on Miss Rose and had the urge to lick it up, it unlocked a new craving.
Now her features twist as if she’s upset, staring at her phone.
When I notice the man standing next to her, everything I thought I knew bursts into flames along with my heart.
My entire history with her is rewritten in an instant. My memories turn to ash. Everything slots into place with the recognition. I should’ve known. I was such a stupid kid, all starry-eyed and full of hope before.
Before.
There’s a ringing in my ears as the reality of our past scoops out my insides and leaves me hollow. She never lied, but the betrayal stings. The truth would’ve hurt, but at least I wouldn’t have spent years wondering what I did wrong. Thinking I’d misread our entire relationship.
I rub my chest as if the pain is a physical thing.
Until this moment, I admired Jayce McKenna. Had followed his pro hockey career. The case could be made that I hero-worshiped him. Another loss to add to the pile. Disintegrated. The last of my childhood innocence—gone.
Which is saying something because I became independent at age seven. Adulting occurred gradually, day by day. But seeing him with her ripped away my memories, leaving blank spaces where my few moments of happiness used to be.
My body rises from the chair, shaking off the past. It’s been four years. I’m no longer a kid. Not the needy, starved-for-affection boy desperate for her attention. I stand to my full height and take a deep breath, summoning confidence.
This is a new day and although I can’t change the past, I don’t have to let her betrayal change who I’ve become. I can show her I got my shit together without her help.
My feet take me in her direction without my consent. Leaving behind the smoking remnants of my senior year of high school and silly memories of a schoolboy’s crush on his substitute teacher.
Is there any remorse for casting me aside when I needed her the most?
My plastic, perfect smile slips on as easily as a mask. This will be my closure. To let go of her haunting me once and for all.
Henotices my focus on her, but I can’t tell if he recognizes me. The bubbles from the soda gurgle in my gut. I hate that she’s with him and I’d idolized him. Fantasized about him. He’s nothing but a heartless bastard.
It’s crowded and although my intent is clear, it takes a couple of minutes to reach their table. A lazy smile hides his cruelty. It’s a sadistic joke the universe plays by creating a man who looks like a superhero: tall, broad shoulders, short dark hair, and intense blue eyes, who has a shitty personality. Like it’s impossible for a gorgeous man with a good heart to exist.
He could cash in on his looks as a former pro hockey player. I’m surprised he’s not on social media or doing endorsements. I kept track of him after we met.
What a waste of my time.
She has her back to me, but when I stand behind her, Jayce inhales so deeply that he steals my attention. His palpable lust and fiery eyes send goosebumps across my skin. His hand twitches and for a moment I think he’s going to touch me, and my traitorous body wants it. Wants his huge hands all over me.
Then she turns on her swivel chair, and I prepare for her rejection.
“Hi, Miss Rose.”
