She blinked back a few of her own and took them out to the harbor for a slow ride around, thinking about Dad fixing rodsand reels for poor little kids. How was it that she didn’t know that about him?
And that just made her wonder…what else didn’t she know about her father?
An hour later,they had cold drinks open and sat in the beautiful sunshine, anchored with a perfect view of the shops and wharf of HarborWalk Village.
Jo Ellen sighed and leaned back on the cushions that made a comfy seating area in the back of the boat.
“I miss him so much,” she confessed. “Out here? On the water? Oh, there was nothing he loved more.”
“I know, Mom. It was bittersweet talking to Seamus. I don’t meet many people who knew him.”
“Not in Florida. The memories are everywhere up at home.”
“You should stay here for a while,” Tessa suggested. “It’s good for you.”
“If Maggie doesn’t claw my eyes out, it is.”
“You two will find your rhythm. You were so close. Always laughing and drinking wine and working on something in the kitchen. You should cook together while you’re here.” Tessa pushed up her sunglasses to underscore this great idea. “Not only do we need it since Jonah went to California, but you and Maggie could get close again. God knows we’d all be happier and healthier for it.”
Her mother considered that, and nodded. “Maybe. We did like cooking up concoctions together.” She was quiet for a long moment, staring out again. “Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like another lifetime.”
“Dad or cooking with Maggie?”
“Both,” she said with a smile. “But I was thinking about Artie.”
Tessa took a slow sip. “I thought I’d get used to it. Not in a way that makes it easier, but just…accustomed to it. But it still catches me off-guard. Like, I’ll reach for my phone to call him or think about something I need to tell him, and then…” She trailed off, fighting a lump in her throat. “Then I remember he’s gone.”
They sat silent for a while, only the sound of the water against the hull and a distant steel drum playing from a restaurant on the wharf.
“Tessa,” Jo Ellen finally said, leaning forward. “I know you and I were never that close. That you were always closer to your father.”
Tessa’s chest tightened. She hadn’t expected that. But then, wasn’t that why she’d come out here today? “Mom?—”
“No, let me say this.” Jo Ellen stood and made her way to the center of the boat, slipping into the passenger seat next to Tessa. “You and Kate were always so different. She was an open book, and I think I clung to that. You were more private and independent. I should’ve tried harder to meet you where you were, instead of expecting you to be more like her. I’m sorry.”
Tessa’s chest ached at this apology. “Don’t be. I was a Daddy’s girl.”
“I know,” Jo Ellen said softly. “And I never resented that. But I do wish I’d been someone you felt like you could come to when you needed…a parent.”
For a quick second, Tessa wondered if her father had shared her secret. Did her mother know she’d had a baby all those years ago?
No. He’d never betray her like that. He’d promised. Jo Ellen would have been so upset.
Then, anyway. Now? She doubted it would get the same reaction.
Maybe this was it. This was her chance to confide in her. After all, she’d told Lacey. Couldn’t she tell her own mother about the son she’d given up all those years ago?
The words pressed at the back of her throat, but when she opened her mouth, all that came out was: “There are things I haven’t told you. About my life.”
Jo Ellen held her gaze, something flickering in her expression—understanding, maybe. Sadness.
“I’m sure there are.”
Tessa blinked and kept her mouth closed. She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t.
Shifting on her seat, she searched for a new subject. “How did I not know that Dad wanted to retire in Destin?” she asked, grabbing the first thing that occurred to her.
Jo Ellen sighed, her fingers sliding over the can of soda she held. “I don’t know how serious he was. You know, we’d get home after a summer here and by February, he just didn’t want to deal with the snow and ice. Of course, there was his job at Cornell with all the politics in the department. He loved the freedom of being in Destin.”
