Tessa gave a soft laugh. “Yes, and that was the day I got fired from the Ritz. I was driving aimlessly up the coast, crying my fool eyes out like I always do that day, and I saw the sign for Destin and I…”
“Wanted comfort,” Lacey finished, rubbing Tessa’s hand gently. “Do you know his name?”
“Nope and I don’t want to,” she said. “I pray he’s happy, healthy, and well-loved.”
Lacey just let out a long sigh, leaning closer and dropping her head on Tessa’s shoulder. “You poor thing, carrying that around all alone.”
“It was easier that way. I couldn’t tell Jo Ellen or Kate. I didn’t want to be a disappointment, but my dad?” She gave a dry laugh. “For some reason, it was impossible for me to disappoint the man. God knows I tried, but his love was unconditional with a capitalun.”
“And the adoption? You never tried to?—”
“No. No, no, no. I couldn’t insert myself into his life. No, he’s better off not knowing me.”
“How can you even say something like that?” Lacey asked. “You’re the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful person ever.”
Tessa laughed. “Oh, keep drinking, Lace. Pretty soon I’ll be a saint and not…” Her smile faded. “A dumb blonde disappointment.”
“You are so wrong,” Lacey said. “You have the absolute most wrong sense of self-worth. I meant it when I said I love you.”
“And I must love you right back,” Tessa said. “Your mother thinks I’m joking when I say I want you for my daughter…but I think there’s truth in all humor.”
“Tessa. You’ve been through so much. So much.”
Tessa blinked rapidly, trying to keep the flood of tears at bay. “Just a life, Lace. A complicated life driven by decisions I can’t undo.”
“Do you wish you’d kept the baby and raised him yourself?” Lacey asked gently.
“I don’t like to travel that road not taken,” Tessa said. “Regrets are foolish and not fun. I like fun.”
Lacey laughed softly, but grew serious. “Is this why you like fun? Because you gave up a baby?”
“Pffft. I like fun because it’s fun. But, if I’m being completely honest, I do wish I had a grown son right now. It would be nice. Maybe to be a grandmother someday.”
“Hottest one ever.”
She pointed playfully at Lacey. “Hey, maybe you, my pretend daughter, will give me one.”
“Not soon, but yeah. Someday.” She squeezed Tessa’s hands again. “You could probably find him, you know. It wouldn’t be?—”
“No.” She narrowed her eyes. “And I don’t want anyone to know this, Lacey. Not your mother, not my sister, no one in the world. Can you keep my secret?”
“Yes, I promise not to tell any of them. Are you sure your dad didn’t tell your mother?”
“Positive. He could keep a secret like no one’s business. And I mean it—Kate would be devastated to find out I went through that and never told her.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?” Lacey asked. “You two are close.”
“Close…ish,” she replied. “At the time, Kate was in grad school and…we weren’t that tight, since I was out to sea so much on that cruise ship. We frequently went long, long times without seeing each other. She never questioned my being out of sight all that time.”
Lacey settled back on her seat, picking up her flute. “I won’t toast to little seven-pound Holmes.”
Tessa laughed. “That was the name of the hospital. I told you, I don’t know his name.”
“Don’t you want to know?” Lacey asked, clearly struggling with that. “I mean, aren’t you curious?”
“Sometimes, but I feel like this is better. My dad was very clear that I signed a contract, I gave the baby up for adoption, and that was legal and binding.”
“Hewasa law ethics professor,” Lacey said.
