He looked away, almost unable to take the impact of it. “It’s dumb to think I even have a chance.”
“It’s dumber not to try,” she shot back.
He let out a shuddering breath as Eli stomped his way closer, taking a moment to look at the gravestone, a shadow of grief darkening his blue eyes before he leveled a hard gaze at Jonah.
“I lost her, too, Jonah.” His voice was raw, the words scraping the air between them. “It’s the worst thing in the world.”
“You don’t seem…like you still hurt.” It wasn’t an accusation or indictment—if anything, Jonah envied the peace his father seemed to have found.
He snorted. “Define hurt, son. I’m sure you’ve heard that grief is just love that has nowhere to go. I found a place for it.” His eyes flicked toward the sky. “I found…other things.”
Jonah swallowed hard. Other things like God. Hey, whatever worked, man. He couldn’t argue that he was the one screwing up his life and blubbering in the rain and Dad…
Dad had come here, with Kate, on their special long weekend, to get him.
That…wow. That was love.
“What did she say?” his father asked, glancing at the stone again.
Jonah jerked back, not sure if he understood. “What?”
“Your mom. I always get answers when I come here. I can hear her voice, and I can imagine what she said. What did she tell you to do?”
“I didn’t…she didn’t…” His throat grew thick. “Nothing.”
Kate exhaled and wiped some rain from her face, then reached for his arm. “Can I tell you what I would say if you were my son?”
Jonah didn’t answer.
“I’d tell you that you are the finest cook I ever saw in the kitchen.” She looked up at him, her brown eyes easy to see since she must have ditched her glasses, and her bangs were plastered to her head. “I’d tell you that when you layer flavors or test a spice or cut a radish, you do it with the flair and touch of a great chef. And you have an opportunity to learn exactly how to be that chef. You are brilliant, Jonah Lawson. And you were made for great things.”
Made for…more.He could hear his mother’s voice, echoing exactly what this dear, good woman was saying.
“Is that why you drove three hundred miles overnight in the rain?” He tried to slather the words with attitude, but he knew he sounded petulant and small. “To tell me I cut a mean radish?”
“I came because I believe in you completely.” She lifted her chin, undaunted by his tone or the rain. “I have bone-deep faith in you. I would do anything—and so would your father—to help you realize your amazing potential.”
It was like…it was like Melissa Lawson herself was speaking from that grass-covered hole in the ground.
Something shifted in his chest.
“I don’t know if I can be a dad,” he admitted, the words barely audible but it was the truth, and it was at the heart of this matter.
He was scared out of his mind and if he didn’t get his life together, like Carly insisted, he wouldn’t get to find out what kind of father he’d even be. The whole thing just sucked.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” she said softly. “You just have to show up. And earn that child’s respect by following your dreams and passions and talents. By not letting roadblocks and complications get in the way. I know you can do that, Jonah.”
His breath hitched. Could he?
Kate sighed. “Plus, you have a good role model.” She glanced at his father and in that one second, in that flash of a look, he saw…love.
Shelovedhis father. And there was nothing anyone—including the great and powerful Maggie Lawson—was going to do to stop that.
As if he saw it, too, Dad took a step closer. “Son, if you leave now, you can make that interview. Might break a few speed limits, but?—”
“Not in that van,” he said. “That is not happening.”
“Take my truck.” He held out keys. “You can make it.”
