I look down at my hands, picking at the polish on my pinky. I shouldn't feel bad, but knowing how stressed he already is, I still don’t want to add to that.
“We… We had dinner with his dad the other night.” He makes a face, and if this were any other time, I would snap a picture and send it to Leo, and it would become our new meme. “So, you’ve met?”
“Unfortunately. Joshua was drafted and signed a two-year deal with the Tampa Bay Wolverines. He struggled quite a bit during those two years. He popped off when things didn’t go his way, had a terrible temper, and placed the blame on everyone but himself.”
That checks.
“I know he coached a few of Noah’s teams growing up, and the ones that he didn’t, he definitely tried to. He’s been hanging around over the last three years, and I finally had enough of him. I told them it was because I couldn’t focus and do my job to the best of my ability with him here, but really, I just couldn’t stand the way he talked to Noah. So, I banned him from practices,” he says. “Anyway, I don’t think he ever really had anything else to fall back on, and the only good thing that came out of that time for him was meeting his wife.”
“Victoria?”
“Mhmm.” He nods. “Her dad was his coach.”
Of course he was.
I shove the new information aside because it doesn’t change anything. “Right. Well, he said some pretty crazy things.” I leave out the offensive parts about me. “And basically, by the end of it, I think they both decided that Noah was too distracted from hockey right now.”
“I see.” He lifts his head in a slow, deliberate nod. “Joshua is hard on him. I know that. But honestly, I don’t give a shit about him. I do, however, give a shit about Noah. What does Noah want?”
If you had asked me last week, I would have easily believed he wanted it all, including me. But I have since come back to my senses.
“He wants what they all want. He wants to make it.” I swallow. “No matter what it takes.” I hate that the words still feel like a lie on my tongue.
“Well, I’m not one to put my nose where it doesn't belong.” He gives me a look, and I playfully roll my eyes. “But I’ve known Noah for three years, and that boy doesn’t do anything half-assed. If he’s gotten into a relationship with you, he didn’t do it with an expiration date in mind.”
I can’t afford the feeling of hope attempting to bloom in my chest. I leave my dad’s office, and the entire walk home, I shove those hopeful thoughts of Noah to the pit of my stomach, determined that this will be the last time I think about him.
The elevator up to my apartment dings, and when the doors slide open, the eyes of my favorite summer storm are in front of me. I freeze, as my breath is knocked from my lungs.
40
savannah
I thoughtit was difficult to forget about him before, but seeing him standing here, leaning against my door with that hollow look in his eyes, it’s unbearable.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” His voice has a raspiness to it that isn’t usually there, and as someone who pays attention to all his different voices, this one is new.
Taking a deep breath I pull my shoulders back, and close the few feet of distance between us.
“I wish you would do the same,” I say, sticking my key in the lock.
“Savvy.” His hand brushes my shoulder but I knock it off, feeling completely overwhelmed.
“Don’t!” I yell louder than intended, and I immediately regret it when I see the utter despair on his face. His eyes are normally so bright and hopeful, but they are looking at me like he’s already lost the fight. I exhale a heavy breath, my shoulders falling and I struggle to make sure tears don’t follow them. “Let’s just rip the Band-Aid off, okay? We’ll call it quits now instead of tomorrow or the next day.”
“I don’t want to call it quits any day.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, my chest feeling tight. “Noah.” My voice cracks. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
I open my front door and step inside. His hand reaches over my head, smacking against the wood to keep it open.
“I just want to talk. Please. I know you’re not in the habit of giving out second chances, but I’m begging. You have to let me apologize for what he said to you. If you can’t forgive me for that, I’ll understand, but you have to let me try.”
“You think I’m mad because your dad had some sort of childish outburst?”
The crease from his dreams forms between his eyes. “Well, yeah?—”
“I don’t give a shit what your dad says to me,” I seethe. “No offense, Noah, but the guy sucks. He might want the world for you—” I shake my head. “I’m not even sure I believe that’s what he wants, but whatever he does want, there are ways to go about it without manipulating people or abusing them.”
