She hesitates, pressing her lips together. “I guess you might as well know the truth. It was Payton’s idea.”
Oh, no. Somethingisgoing on between them. How could I be so stupid to believe Payton’s interest in me was more than convenience? I should have known not to take him seriously or read so much into his words and actions. But he was so tender and caring. The otters…the cat videos…his gentle touch as he kissed my forehead.
But Del doesn’t know about any of this because I haven’t told her. “What did he do?”
“You know that scene inLove, Actually,where the guy uses signs to tell the girl he can’t have that he’s in love with her?”
“Yeah, you made me sit through that movie twice. How could I forget?”
“That’s what he did. The sap stood below one of our cameras with a series of paper signs, asking me to help himwooyou. He actually used that word, too, you know?Woooo. Who says that anymore?”
She picks up her phone, and suddenly, I’m having a déjà vu moment as she shows me a video clip from the security footage with Payton as the star of the show. He’s grinning at the camera with this goofy, self-deprecating expression as he flips sheets of paper covered in black lettering, one behind another.
Del, I need your help.
I’m utterly smitten with Lily.
I want to woo her heart.
Will you help me?
Text me. You have my number.
Those tears return, burning the back of my eyes. “Wait? When did he do this?”
“Over a week ago.”
All the outings he requested…Del readily agreeing…all the pieces fall into place.
“And you went along with it?!” I practically screech.
Her expression begs forgiveness. “How could I resist, Lil?” She gestures to the frozen image of Payton, standing there with that adorable lopsided grin and pleading eyes. “Look at him.”
I am looking at him, and I’m melting inside. But I can’t explore those feelings. Not yet, anyway. “Well, you should have! We’re supposed to be protecting him.”
“Yeah, about that…” Avoiding my gaze, she picks at a spot on the steering wheel.
“Del?” I insert a tinge of threat in my tone so she knows I mean business.
“That’s what the picture at the hotel was about. I was updating Payton about his sister, who notified us the threat was over. They found his cousin on some little island. The poor sap was sunburned and near starving, but he’s alive. And itwasan accident.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He begged me not to. Said he needed alittle more time.” Her expression almost reflects the longing I’ve been feeling for Payton. “Lil, how often do you get a chance at true love?”
Have I misjudged Del as just a party girl when, deep down, she’s a romantic at heart, yearning for something more than our fly-by-night lifestyle? Still, she’s the one who taught me the ropes on not getting attached, how to stay emotionally distant, and how to guard ourselves while we protect our clients. This goes against everything she’s said in the past.
“That was a huge risk, Del. What if I didn’t love him?” I sound frantic, even to myself.
She smiles the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on her face. “And there’s my confirmation.”
I hold shaking fingers to my mouth. What did I just admit to her…and to myself?
Am I in love with Payton? Is that what this is—this rush of desire and longing every time I see him? The borderline emptiness I feel when he’s at an away game, and I have to watch from a distance? I’m not even sure I want that position on his sister’s security detail because then I’d be back in England, and Payton would be here.
If I’m going to be completely honest, I’m not sure which terrifies me more. That what I thought I wanted doesn’t hold as much appeal anymore, or that I’m actually imagining…considering what my life would look like if I chose a different path.
One that included Payton.
