CHAPTER 24
LUKE
I’m playing angry, and I know it.
Instead of going out with Sophie like I’d hoped, I spent Tuesday evening moving into Payton’s apartment. With Gabe’s wife so close to her due date now, they need to start setting up the nursery. Turns out, Payton needed a roommate, so it made sense.
Unlike anything else in my life, at the moment.
And I’m angry as hell about it. Just when things seemed to fall into place, that article—and Sophie—upended everything. I’m mad at myself for taking a risk with her when I should have listened to my gut from the beginning. But then I got to know the beautiful mind ticking behind those gorgeous brown eyes of hers and quit listening.
Even now, I can’t stop reliving the feel of her in my arms and the soft caress of my lips against hers…the floral yet musky scent of her hair as I nuzzle the spot below her ear…the way she pressed in closer, letting me know she wanted me too.
I’m also mad at hockey—and myself—for wrecking mine and Kinsley’s lives. If my mother wasn’t rushing to yet another one of my games, maybe she’d still be here now, and Kinsleywouldn’t have had to grow up faster than necessary. That kid should seriously consider a minor in psychology.
And I’m mad at a father I don’t even know—who walked out eighteen years ago and could wind up showing up again at some point, especially if he sees that article. The NHL means more money. The last thing I need is a deadbeat dad looking for a handout.
The chaos swirling in my head has made me lose my edge. Instead of using this break on the bench to study my opponent and strategize, I’m consumed with a dark-haired journalist with oversized soulful eyes that make my world spin on an entirely different axis. Ineedto focus on the game—not Sophie.
Yet, I keep searching the arena for her. Is she here tonight? Now that she’s writing for a national magazine, maybe she considers covering a third tier team beneath her. Or could something have happened to her on the way here? I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, and focus on my breathing. I’m sure she’s fine. She’s just not here.
Two guys from the fourth line return to the bench as Ethan and I flow over the wall and enter the fray of what’s left of the third period. With the score tied, the opposing team has defaulted to playing dirty. Happens that way sometimes, especially when we’re gunning for the Kelly Cup playoffs.
I fly in and steal the puck from their captain, slamming him into the boards. Then I make a run for the offensive zone. Just as I’m getting closer, their enforcer makes a grab for me, misses, then resorts to hooking. The ref’s whistle goes off, as do my gloves.
Next thing I know, I’m going after the guy, fisticuffs in full swing, which sends his helmet flying. A ref pulls me off and sends me to the sin bin to blow off some steam. Gabe will likely chew me out afterward, seeing as we’re just minutes from the end, and I’m stuck in a glass cage for two of them. If we lose this game, that will be my fault too.
Just as my time’s up in the penalty box, Payton makes agoal, putting us ahead and giving me some relief from my self-flagellation. When I leave the box, Gabe waves me to the bench where I watch my teammates maintain our lead, until the final whistle blows and the rest of the team takes the ice for a well-earned celly for winning.
I skate over to join them, but I’m not feeling it. However, I’m the captain, so I want to show up for my team. They carried this game when I was lacking, which I’m grateful for.
The guys line up, each waiting for their turns to touch helmets with Wade and bask in our win. I wait near the end, patting each player on the back for a job well done as they leave the ice.
Jayce pauses next to me. “Jammer came out to play tonight.”
I shake my head. “Not my finest moment.”
He shrugs and moves on, but I can tell he’s assessing my actions and my words. Ineedto do better. This is the first time I’ve ever been glad my mother wasn’t here because I’m sure that fight would have disappointed her. But what I’m most worried about is what Sophie thinks about me now—if she was even here.
My eyes drift up again in a casual search of the lingering fans and half empty seats surrounding us. Yet no one with bangs and eyes the size of the moon stands out.
Why am I still looking for her? I’m the one who broke our date with no intentions of a redo. But she’s all I can think about. I just can’t seem to move past this feeling of betrayal. Plus, there’s the whole trust issue. How can I be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust?
In front of me, Payton glances over his shoulder. “Good game, Captain.”
“Yeah, thanks to you.”
“We’re not a team of one, bruv. You know that better than most of us.”
Guess I needed a reminder. Or something topunch me out of my self pity. That’s a metaphorical jersey that never fits and tends to have a dingy appearance. Not to mention the stench.
No, thank you.
“Thanks…bruv.”
He shoots a smile at me over his shoulder for using his British slang, then glides forward. Wade pats the back of Payton’s head as they touch helmets and exchange words.
My turn. Wade holds onto me. “Let it go, man.”
