Once I’m out of earshot, I answer my sister’s call. “Hey, Kins, what’s up?”
There’s no answer at first, just a sniffle, which sends me into full fight mode.
“Kinsley, what’s wrong?” Free hand on my hip, I start pacing back and forth.
A shaky inhale seeps over our connection. “Nothing really.”
I stride to a somewhat secluded nook down the hallway. “Doesn’t sound like nothing. What’s wrong? Do you need me to come get you? I can leave?—”
“No, just stop, Luke. I’m fine. I’m not hurt or bleeding or kidnapped, okay?” The tinge of sarcasm in her voice reassures me she’s telling the truth.
I soften my tone, trying to emulate the way Mom used to handle Kinsley. “Then why are you upset?”
“I’m supposed to write a paper about someone who’s had the biggest influence in my life, which you and I both know is Mom. It’s just…writing about her brought up all these memories.” A soft sob stops her words.
“I know.” And I do. I just had a similar moment over a pink pillow. “It’s okay, Kins. Write about it. About her. No better way to honor her memory.”
“Just wish it didn’t still hurt so much.”
That knot of emotion returns to my throat, making my voice sound low and rough. “I know. Same here.”
“Yeah?” She sounds genuinely surprised.
“Of course.”
“You mean the Jammer has emotions?” My sarcastic kid sister is back in blazing glory.
She’ll never let me live that one down. The only time I let my temper get the best of me during a game earned me the nickname ‘Jammer.’ I roughed up a competing player after he elbowed a teammate in the jaw hard enough to knock him out. I got several taps on the ice and a new nickname that night.
I chuckle. “Shut up.”
“Nope.” She makes a loud popping sound of the ‘p,’ and she sounds less upset.
“You okay?”
Her reply is soft yet solid. “Yeah. I’m good now. Thanks, big bro.”
“Anytime, little sis.”
After ending the call, I head toward Sophie’s office.
She’s leaning against the doorway as if she’s been waiting for me and blasts me with that smile again. “Ready to finish?”
After dealing with her questions about my mother and then Kinsley, I’m too raw. I stare down at my phone, acutely aware of her lingering weight in my chest. “Can we finish this another time?”
Sophie pushes away from the door and takes a few tentative steps toward me. “Would it help if I showed you my list of questions? I promise there aren’t any more about parents. And I don’t have to ask you anything about your family at all if you’d rather?—”
I lift my hand to stop her adorable yet panicked rant. Again, I want to reassure her she’s fine, that it’s me who needs a minute to gather myself before I do something like react and show my anger. “Sure. Email me the list. I’ll let you know when I’m available.”
With that, I spin on my heel and walk away so I don’t have to see her reaction.
Could I have done a better job telling her I needed time? Most definitely. But I know when I’m pushed to my limit, and this is one of those times. The more I talk, the greater the risk of my anger showing. And that’s something Ican’t let happen. Especially not with her, which doesn’t make sense, considering we don’t really know each other. Although she most likely thinks I’m a royal jerk by now.
Yet another thing in my life that I’ll have to figure out how to fix.
CHAPTER 6
LUKE
