“Fayren is right,” he started, letting his eyes scan the dim forest as a distraction. “I have a horrible temper.”
How did she put it? Horribly childish tantrums?That was very true, and something he’d never denied.
Zylah chittered and turned her skull away from him.
He stifled the desire to roll his eyes and instead reached out so the back of his knuckles could brush her wrist. “I’m sorry if I upset you, but you shouldn’t take it out on one of your books.”
He winced when her claws gouged into it deeper, and she turned her shoulder to him and yanked her arm away. He palmed his damn face when her reaction didn’t upset him, but instead made his chest swell because he found it adorable. Considering he wasn’t particularly fond of the silent treatment, it should have reignited his temper, not made his chest puff with pride that he’d hurt her feelings.
Feelings she obviously harboured... for him.
“It’s not that I don’t want your presence. Quite the opposite, in fact,” he admitted while gentling his tone, hoping to assuage herhurt. “But much has happened to me, and I needed time to sort through it. Spiral Haven is towards the middle of the inner ring, so it’s not far, and it wouldn’t have taken me long to return.”
The bottom of her orbs settled, and her grip on her book softened. She thumbed the damage she’d done to its cover, while he dipped his head to watch his footing over a particularly gnarly set of tree roots.
“From the moment we entered the Veil, my desire to go to Spiral Haven has been sitting at the forefront of my mind. But I’ve been away from it for quite some time, and I imagine much has changed in my absence.”
“What is so special and important about Spiral Haven?” she asked in a rather snarky tone.
The left side of his lips quirked with humour – he was pleased that she’d finally broken her silence. The tiny smile fell, and he turned his gaze upwards to the thick, dense canopy of leaves. The trees here were much taller than those in the outer ring of the Veil, reaching triple, if not more, of his six feet and nine inches.
“Beneath the city is a mana stone I took from Nyl’theria. I’m hoping it has enough magic left that I can reignite my own.” When she turned her skull towards him a little, he shifted his focus to her so his gaze could meet her orbs. “Not having my magic has been weighing on me deeply. It’s a natural part of me, one which has been missing, and it’s the equivalent of losing a limb to an Elf. We’re born with magic, we breathe it, live it, draw nourishment from it, and it feels like breathing through sand without it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that? You never share your inner thoughts,” she said, her voice growing small as she averted her gaze from his. There was the undertone of hurt and disappointment in her words, and he couldn’t deny his constantsecrecy. “I would have been more understanding if you’d told me the truth about your reason for leaving.”
Because I could have brought you with me either way.The fact he wanted time to wade through the mud of his thoughts regarding her was the only reason he’d wanted to leave her behind. In part, he’d been hoping that time would help reduce his desire, and he’d been planning on killing whatever affection he had growing for her.
That seemed wiser. It seemed... better, especially for her.
If he didn’t do something stupid, then the likelihood of hurting her with his own flaws would be minimal.
“Fayren has a way of getting under my skin,” he admitted, before realising she likely didn’t understand that saying. “What I mean to say is that she has a way of breaking through my thoughts when I don’t wish her to. Had she kept her opinions to herself, I wouldn’t have been so irritated. She did it knowingly, while forgetting her actions and words can have consequences that don’t always involve her. She likes to meddle.”
By the cursed light, he’d barely slept a wink due to Fayren’s pestering. He’d been so restless that he’d almost fallen out of his fucking tree. He’d been frustrated with his thoughts, his chest feeling hollow, while his cock had been so hard he’d considered relieving it just to tamp down his arousal.
He didn’t, simply because he didn’t wish to be caught stroking his cock by Fayren. He also hadn’t wanted her to later discover his sexual scent from wherever he decided to let his release fall, especially as she was cheeky and would have picked on him for it until the day she died.
He could handle pain, but he didn’t particularly like the way mortification felt.
“But what does that have to do with me?” Zylah asked, as the bottoms of her orbs wavered for just a moment.
Rather than delving into thoughts that were best left unsaid, he chose to direct the conversation elsewhere. “Was Fayren helpful to you?”
Her skull lowered – she obviously knew he’d deflected her question. “Yes. I appreciated her help.”
“Do you now understand why I couldn’t explain it all to you?”
Her orbs morphed into a reddish pink, and she lifted a hand to cover the side of her skull to hide them. “Yes.”
Jabez couldn’t help but release a small chuckle at the bashful way she’d hidden from him. “I hope she didn’t tease you too much.”
With how Zylah’s orbs brightened in her embarrassed hue, he knew Fayren had done exactly that. She gripped her biceps of her right arm.
“She made me realise many things, and I’m grateful for that. She made me understand what I want, how I’m feeling. I feel as though I know myself much better now.”
“That’s good,” he muttered, as his lips thinned. He didn’t particularly want Zylah understanding her feelings better if they pertained to him.
Her orbs even flickered with purple, and the glow of it was bright in comparison to the darkness around them. The lightest scent of arousal came from her, and he had to ignore the way his groin tingled in awareness of it.
