Page 95 of Truth or More Truth
“I do know. You often tell me that’s where you get your brains from.” I move my hand in a rolling motion. “Go on. Tell me more about Jimmie.”
“Well, I know his sister died in a freak accident, though I don’t know what kind of accident, and I also know his parents don’t go to any of his games.”
“How do you know that?” She’s right, but it’s strange she knows it. There was nothing about his parents in the article.
She shrugs. “I have my sources.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mmhm. Confidential ones. Anyway, he says he plays in memory of his sister. But I think maybe his parents blamed him for her death, and that’s why he’s so messed up.”
Her words slam into me like a freight train. How did I not see this before? I mean, I knew his parents aren’t an active presence in his life, and he considers his current and former coaches and teammates to be his family, though that’s not uncommon in the hockey world, where kids often leave home at an early age to play competitively. But of all people, I should’ve been able to put two and two together.
Kelli folds her hands together on her lap and sits up straight. “In conclusion, I believe Jimmie needs you because you kinda know how that feels. You can help him learn to be a good person, because your parents were terrible to you, butyou’rea good person.”
My throat closes so I’m barely able to choke out the words, “I’m a good person because of you, kiddo. I wasn’t very good before you came along, but then I decided I had to be.”
“Well, maybe you’re the person for Jimmie that I was for you. He can be a good person because you came along for him.”
After I hug Kelli good night and send her back to her room, I spend some time thinking about everything she said. I’m more certain than ever that I need to tell Melissa about my childhood.But I’m not as certain about where I want my career to go, because I can’t drop Jimmie now. Even if Kelli is wrong—and I don’t think she is—if she thinks Jimmie needs me, I can’t let her down.
As I consider what that means for my plans to cut back, I realize I don’t have to make this decision alone. While I had planned to tell Melissa what I was going to do, if I want her to be a permanent part of my life, I need to let her be part of my decision-making process.
Even though it’s well past midnight in Chicago, I pick up the phone. I told her I’d call tonight, and although I’ve been delayed by Kelli’s bombshell, I can’t go back on my word, even if it means waking Melissa up.
“Hey,” Melissa says sleepily into the phone. “I thought you’d forgotten about me.”
“Never.” I kick back in my chair and prop my feet on the desk. “Kelli came in to talk, and then I needed some time to think before calling you.”
“Yeah?” She yawns. “What were you thinking about?”
“About you … me … us … my career.”
“Your career?” I hear sheets rustling on her end, like she’s adjusting her position in bed. “What about your career?”
“Over the past several weeks, I’ve been thinking about the possibility of cutting back on work to spend more time with the people I care about.” I was going to say “love,” but I’m not ready to use that word yet with her, even though I’m certain it’s accurate. I love Melissa with all of my being, and it scares the heck out of me but also makes me feel a sense of stability and support I didn’t know I needed.
“And who are these people you care about? Do they include me?”
“Of course. And also Kelli, Diego, Nanette, Ash, Randall, and their wives.” I tick them all off on my fingers as I name them, surprised by the amount of people I genuinely want to spend time with these days outside of work. “I don’t have enough free time to give those relationships and friendships the attention they deserve, and that needs to change.”
“Wow, this is big, Bobby Seb.”
I smile at the new nickname, though I’ll admit I miss “Bobby Joe” a little. “Yeah. It’s huge for me. I’m trying to figure out what it’ll all look like, and I’m trying to anticipate how people will respond.”
“And by ‘people’ you mean …?”
“My clients, their teams, other agents, the sporting world in general,” I explain.
“And you care how they’ll respond?”
My inclination is to give a blanket no in response, but I take a minute to truly think about it before giving an answer. “I don’t care how most of them will react to the news, and I’ll need to deal with some fallout for sure. But I care about how my clients will respond—the ones I might need to let go through no fault of their own.”
“You don’t care about what your peers will think at all?” Melissa asks.
“No.” I bob my head back and forth. “Well, maybe a little bit. I can’t say it won’t sting when some of them inevitably say I couldn’t hack it. But I’ll know the truth about why I’m cutting back.”
“All right. So what does cutting back look like?”
