Page 43 of So Much More
The phone rings some time later, but I don’t move. It can’t be anyone I want to talk to, and my body is so stiff from sitting on the hard floor, I’m not sure I can move anyway.
“Wendy,” a voice comes out of my answering machine, “this is Melissa. I don’t know what’s going on, but Randall called and asked me to check on you. He said something happened, and he knows Leslie isn’t available for you to talk to, and he doesn’t want you to be alone. If you’re there, please answer.”
Tears finally start to fall, but I don’t make an attempt to wipe them. I don’t want to think about how it makes me feel that Randall asked his friend to check in on me because he’s worried about me.
“Okay,” Melissa says when she realizes I’m not going to pick up the phone, “if you need to talk or to be with someone and not talk, I’m here. Call me, please. I’m worried, although I don’t know what I’m supposed to be worried about. At least call me so I know you’re okay. I’ll be home the rest of the day.”
I know I should call her back, but I don’t want to get up off the floor, because there’s nowhere else to go that won’t make me hurt more. I can’t go to the couch where I’ve spent so much time in Randall’s arms. I can’t go to my bed, where my sheets still hold his scent. I can’t even curl up in the easy chair, because it’s where I was sitting when he told me he kissed someone else—when he wouldn’t even kissme.Randall Hamilton has ruined my entire home for me.
With that realization, I push myself off the floor and make my way to the phone to call Melissa back.
“It’s Wendy,” I say when she answers. “Can I come over?”
“Of course. Let me come get you.”
I don’t try to argue, because I’m in no mental state to potentially deal with a chatty cab driver or figure out the bus route to her place near Wrigley Field. “I’ll be waiting downstairs so you won’t have to try to park. Thanks, Melissa.”
“Glad to be of help. See you soon.”
seventeen
Ihave nowhere to go and no one to talk to. When I got home from Wendy’s, Ash was gone, and he’ll be out with Leslie the rest of the day. All my other friends disappeared when Colleen dumped me for Kevin, and they all chose to stay friends with the cheaters instead of me. I can’t call my mom, not because Dad forbade me to talk to her, but because I can’t admit to her what I’ve done. I won’t be able to handle the sound of disappointment in her voice. I briefly consider calling Bobby Jacobs, because he already knows the worst of what I’ve done, but I figure he doesn’t want to deal with my shambles of a life.
It’s not that I deserve to have someone help me deal with my misery. I’m fully aware I brought this all upon myself, but I feel like if I have to spend one more minute in this apartment by myself, I’ll lose my mind. I have to go somewhere, anywhere, even if I’m alone. But I can’t escape yet—not until I hear back from Melissa. I need to know that Wendy has someone looking out for her. The two women don’t know each other all that well, but they’ve spent enough time together I’m hoping Wendy will open up to Melissa.
I flip through the TV channels while I wait. There’s nothing I want to watch, but I’m hoping something will distract me from my own thoughts for at least a few minutes. Instead, my channel surfing is backfiring on me. I’ve already caught glimpses of two kissing scenes in movies as well as love song music videos on both VH1 and MTV. I finally land on an old western movie, and I pray it won’t inexplicably contain a love scene.
It doesn’t, but when a woman starts yelling at John Wayne on the screen, I can’t help but think of Wendy, and it feels like a vice is crushing my chest. Yelling—or at least telling me her thoughts and feelings—is exactly what I expected her to do. Instead, what I did was so bad I managed to silence a woman who usually speaks her mind with no provocation whatsoever.
When the phone rings, I grab it before it can ring a second time.
“It’s me,” Melissa says. “I’m going to pick her up and bring her to my place.”
I let out a long breath. “Good. Thank you.”
“You’re not going to tell me what this is about?”
“No, I’ll let her tell you what she feels comfortable with. But so you know, it’s all my fault.”
“I figured it was.”
I huff out a laugh. “Fair enough.”
“Am I going to have to pick sides?”
“Yes, and you’ll choose her.”
“Oh, Randall.” Melissa sighs. “What have you done?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
“I’ll take care of her.”
“I appreciate it, and I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything. We’re friends, and this is what friends do, even when the other person is a numbskull. Plus, Wendy’s also my friend. I care about her, too.”
“You’re right. Thanks again.”
