Page 106 of So Much More
“So,” I say, “do you ladies want to talk about what’s happening?”
“No,” Tonya says.
“Yes, we do,” Sonya counters. “We can’t talk to anyone else about this until after Thursday, and we can’t say much about it then.”
“Yeah,” Tonya adds, suddenly ready to talk, “we can’t tell anyone any details, because we don’t want Dad to hear about it and turn it against Mom somehow. We gotta keep our mouths shut.”
“Except with you two,” Sonya says.
“So how are you feeling about it?” I ask them.
“Mad,” Tonya says.
“Sad,” Sonya adds.
Tonya nods. “Yeah, that, too.”
“Let’s start with the anger,” Leslie says. “Why are you mad?”
“Because Dad’s an even bigger jackwad than we thought,” Tonya says. “Did you know he threatened Mom?”
Wendy and I both nod.
“I don’t know how she stood him all these years. I feel so bad for her. But I’m mad at her, too, because she didn’t leave sooner and get us out of there.”
I say, “It can be really hard to leave a situation like that, especially when you rely on the other person to provide for you and your children.”
Tonya crosses her arms over her chest. “We don’t need his money.”
She would definitely miss it if it weren’t there, but now’s not the time to point that out.
“Okay,” Leslie says, “but I think your mom maybe also didn’t want to disrupt your lives. This is going to cause a lot of changes for all of you. They’re not all bad changes, but even good change can be hard and stressful.”
I turn sideways on the couch so I can see both girls. “Maybe focus on the fact that your mom has the courage to leave your dad now, and don’t wonder what might have happened if she had done it years ago. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”
“Yeah, we need to support her.” Sonya pokes Tonya’s leg. “Not be mad at her.”
“I’ll be mad at her if I want to be mad at her, while also supporting her,” Tonya retorts. “I’m also mad that Mom, our brothers, and you two,” she points at Leslie and me, “have known about this for weeks and didn’t tell us.”
I wondered if that would be an issue. “I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you, but it wasn’t our information to tell, and your mom and brothers were trying to protect you as much as they could from what’s coming. There was no need for you to have to worry about it for that long.”
“But Ash and Randall had to worry about it,” Sonya says, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sad they had to go through all the preparation without us being there to support them.”
I take her hand in mine. “They had us, honey. Not that they wouldn’t have loved your support, too, but we’re not as close to the situation as you are. We’ve been able to be strong for them while they figured out how to create the best outcome for you two and your mom. And we’re here for you, too. Whenever you need us—to talk to you, to cry with you, to distract you—we’re here.” I pause. “Well, except this weekend, when we’ll be in Arkansas. But you’ll have Melissa then, and you can still call us if you need to.”
“Definitely,” Leslie says. “I’ll give you my brother’s phone number.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with our family’s dysfunction,” Tonya says. “That makes me mad, too. It’s not just us who Dad’s affected with his awfulness. You’ve had to deal with it, too, and that’s not fair to you.”
“We’re happy go through this with you,” Leslie says, “because we love all of you. We might not be family, but we’ll support you like family.”
“You’re not familyyet,”Tonya says, her expression quickly changing from irritated to gleeful.
“Tonya.”Sonya pokes her again.
“What?” her sister replies. “They’re dating our brothers, who are ridiculously in love with them. They’ll be family.” She nods with certainty.
I freeze at her words. Is Randall ridiculously in love with me? I know he’s guarding his feelings toward me to some extent, due to not wanting to rush or spook me, but does he truly care for me enough that his sisters can tell?
