“Hi, Mom. Anything new you’re growing?” It was the perfect conversation starter, because if I really got her going, I could get her to talk about nothing other than her garden until I left. Well, that or sewing, but seeing as she just came in from the garden this seemed the most natural choice.
“I just planted the loveliest rose bushes,” she gushed. “They’re placed along the house and will grow up over time so I’ll have roses just outside the windows.” She started handing me the plates so we could set the table while Dad cooked. “The PH levels had to be perfect before I could plant them, but I think I got it just right.”
“I can’t wait to see them bloom,” I told her honestly. Why couldn’t they care about my passions as I did with theirs? Was it really that hard to fake enthusiasm for my sake? I didn’t care about gardening, but I loved seeing my mom’s eyes glow as she lectured me about the different kinds of flowers she wanted each year in her pots, and whenever she made a bigger and more permanent decision, like the rose bushes. Why couldn’t they do the same for me?
“Me neither, honey. Is Hayley coming?”
“She’s having fun with friends,” Dad answered before I could. He’d used a certain tone and I knew what he was doing.
“That’s lovely! You should spend time with your friends too,” Mom said, just as I predicted she would.
“Then I wouldn’t have time to visit you, though,” I muttered in response. I took out our cutlery and sat down sullenly. I was already over this visit.
Mom joined me and batted my arm. “Nonsense! You’re a smart man, you can figure out how to manage your time. We made sure to give you all the smart brain cells when we made you. Right, dear?” she looked expectantly at my dad.
“Of course we did,” he answered, always the dutiful husband. “That’s why you’re an only child, son. We feared all the good cells were gone.” He looked smugly at my mom who beamed in return.
“This would all make perfect sense if I wasn’t conceived using a donor,” I replied drooly.
Why did I visit them? I could’ve spent a lovely night at the library instead of this.
I was six minutes early to work the next day. Earl had truly been surprised, and that had been worth leaving Hayley’s soft bed for. I wanted to show him I was a worthy employee.
I had two boring classes after work, but one amazing thing happened just as I headed home. Mr. Trent had answered my email and told me that he had a few ideas on how I could earn some points to stay in his class. It was really my last chance now. He was still working out what I would have to do, so in the meantime I simply had to show up and that would be a start. He wasn’t lacking humor that man.
I was basically skipping on the way to Hayley’s apartment. I wasn’t going to mess this up. Mr. Trent had given me one last chance and I was going to do my best to please him.
Opening the front door had me immediately wishing I’d chosen the library instead. There were ten or more people in the apartment, all drinking and having a good time. I wasn’t a boring person, like Hayley’s friends thought, but not liking parties meant I was boring to them. I had been looking forward to a quiet night with Hayley, but that wasn’t going to happen tonight, it seemed.
“Babe!” Hayley yelled out in greeting when she spotted me. “Have a drink!” She pushed a glass with nearly glowing pinkliquid inside. Even without the deadly color to it, I still wouldn’t have tasted it. I had work in the morning, and after that I had a group project to work on. I had no intentions of getting drunk whatsoever.
I shook my head and handed her the deathly potion. “No thanks. I have work tomorrow. But you guys have fun. I’ll just sleep in my dorm tonight.” I gave her a peck on the cheek, not wanting to taste the alcohol on her.
I turned to walk out, but Hayley wasn’t okay with that. “You’re such a killjoy!” She yelled after me, clearly annoyed. I sighed. We never fought and I wasn’t in the mood to do it in front of her friends while she was drunk.
“I’ll call you tomorrow after work,” I said, ignoring her angry eyes and walking out. I heard her friends scoff behind my back. Maybe they thought she deserved someone more fun and outgoing, someone more like her. But Hayley knew me. If she wanted someone she could party with, she was with the wrong guy.
As I walked closer to the dorms, I thought about me and Hayley, like really thought about us, something I tended to brush off since it was easier. Were we a good match? I loved her, but was Iinlove with her? I couldn’t quite figure it out. I mentally put it all in a box to sort out later as I fumbled with my key.
I was relieved to find the room empty. My roommate Derek was always in the room working on his computer. He was a smart man, I had to give him that, he just lacked some social cues that made me sort of fear him. Last time I spoke with him he was developing an app, something he did for fun to earn some cash while attending college. Fun. He was good at coding and honestly, I had no idea what else he did, having fled our room as soon as Hayley had given me a key.
It wasn’t only Derek’s fault that I’d basically moved out. Yes, he lacked some social cues, but I also knew he didn’t realize it himself so I couldn’t really blame him for that. I’d moved out to spend more time with Hayley. It was just easier with me, always losing track of time to spend the nights at her place, and even if we never really did spend time together, we were at least in the same apartment.
The night I truly moved out, Derek had worn my t-shirt and when I confronted him about it, he’d simply told me it smelled like me so he liked to sleep in it.
I hadn’t been back since.
But now I was back, and relived to find my stuff seemingly untouched. With the room empty, I decided to go through my stuff. Some of it I’d missed and other stuff I hadn’t. I went through what I wanted to bring back to Hayley’s tomorrow, then stopped myself after having that thought. Was I going back? The box I’d mentally filed away burst open and now I had to deal with all these confusing emotions.
Were we better off as friends? Honestly, yes.
I felt relieved once the truth of those words really hit. I still had my parents I had to deal with on a weekly basis, but Hayley had been like them lately, and she shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t want to spend all my time at a library instead of at her place. I told her the nights I did spend there were because it was quiet, but I actually just needed a break from her. Whenever we were both at her place, I sought out the room she wasn’t in and studied there, desperate for some alone time. And Hayley had respected that, but was that normal? Hayley was my first girlfriend and I her first boyfriend. We didn’t have any other relationship experience, but maybe what we had wasn’t working. I wasn’t happy and hadn’t been in a long time. Hayley partied more now, likely trying to find some happiness elsewhere herself.
I had to talk to her tomorrow after work. Face to face. Tonight, I had to sort my stuff out and mentally prepare myself for living here again. With Derek. Who still had my t-shirt.
Chapter Four
Juno
