“Nope,” I replied. “It was yesterday, I just somehow slept through most of the dayandnight.”
He gave me a weak smile, his confidence faltering. “What happened before you fell asleep?” Was he for real?
“I asked you to kiss me, but you didn’t and then I fell asleep,” I replied, feeling my stomach sink. Was that why I fell asleep? I couldn’t really rule out magical powers considering everything. But… Did he do it so he wouldn’t have to kiss me? Was everything he told his dad and the others a lie? Maybe he didn’t want me. Maybe his friend helped him out so they could continue to act like I was his mate when I wasn’t. Juno was from another world. Portals existed. And Juno could somehow make me fall asleep. Then there was the whole mate thing. If it wasn’t because I could feel the truth in my own body, I wouldn’t have believed it, but I could, so I knew we were mates or whatever Juno had claimed, but that didn’t mean he wanted me. Maybe he lied because he was waiting for someone else, another mate, a better mate. I had no idea what being mates meant for us, but I felt this pull towards him, like my heart knew him, however corny that sounded even to my own ears. Was I not enough? And then there was the whole thing with Mr. Trent.
“Are you fucking Mr. Trent?” I blurted, stopping Juno from what he was going to say.
“What?”
“Mr. Trent,” I replied, needing to know. “Are you fucking him? Is that why you don’t want me?” Fuck these heightenedfeelings! Now I had tears gathering in my eyes as Juno stared unblinkingly at me.
“Um, no?” he replied with uncertainty, which only angered me.
“Well, are you or aren’t you!?” I yelled, done with his confusing words. It was bad enough that he saw how huge of a mess I was yesterday, and now he had me doubting my sanity, but this? This was a fucking easy question to answer. Yes, it wasn’t illegal for professors to have a relationship with their students, but it wasn’t allowed if said student was in their classes, and Juno was.
“I’m not!” Juno defended himself, looking slightly offended at this point.
“Then why didn’t you kiss me?!” I demanded, knowing full well I was acting very strange and out of character. I wasn’t an angry person; I was the sort of guy you’d step on and then I would apologize for being in your way. Once again, these strong feelings were messing with me. Hadn’t Juno’s dad mentioned something about it only getting worse? Or was it the other guy? It was hard remembering the details, to be honest. I’d been too busy pretending to sleep to truly pay full attention.
When all Juno did was blink at me, I did what I was getting pretty good at. I ran. I didn’t even care if people were looking, we were outside, I was allowed to yell.
Blindly running back to my dorm room, I felt the tears trail down my face. Then I remembered that Juno knew where my room was, and I didn’t want to see him. If he evenwantedto find me after this. I’d just made a huge scene, accusing him of sleeping with Mr. Trent, and then asked why he hadn’t kissed me. If dying of mortification was a possibility, I would’ve been gone by now.
Changing my directions, I headed towards the library instead. My sanctuary. The top floor of the three-story building had hugewindows that overlooked the forested area behind the building. There were comfortable chairs you could sit on and look outside while studying, but there were also tables with less comfortable chairs if you needed to study with others.
Whenever I needed to quiet my mind, I sat in the comfy chairs and looked outside. At night you could see the stars, which was my favorite time of day. It was around lunch time now, but the top floor was always deserted, having the least borrowed books and since the librarians didn’t like walking up and down the stairs too much, they’d sorted the books out so that the main floor was where the most popular books were.
I actually preferred this. Peace and quiet. Privacy. I was so in my own head most of the time that having people around was scary to me. Like an instinctual part of me didn’t like being vulnerable around others. I also appreciated that the library was open until two a.m. and only closed between two-six a.m. allowing me to hide away here whenever I needed to. Like now.
As I hurried inside, I breathed easier knowing it was lunchtime and only a few people would see my distraught face as I headed up to my favorite floor. Keeping my head down as I walked up the stairs, I heard no one whispering or conversing, which meant the building truly was deserted. I smiled in relief when my feet reached the top floor. I walked over to the comfy chairs and sat down, admiring the forest as I let myself calm down.
Fuck feelings. I’d never been this… emotional before, not even as a kid, always calm and logical, that was Remi. Not this mentally unstable person, crying in bathrooms and yelling at people. God, I yelled at Juno! Why was I like this?!
Hiding my face in my hands, I tried to erase the haunting memories of our conversation. There was no way he’d want to date me now. And we still had to do the paper together.Fuck my life… Maybe I should just quit school? The only thing I waspassionate about were my ideas. I only attended school because of my parents’ insistence that my “ideas” weren’t going to pay the bills.
Letting the comfort of my favorite place wash over me, I started to calm down enough to take out my journal. It was where I wrote every idea down before making a detailed document on my laptop. I then saved the doc on the cloud, ensuring my ideas were protected. Opening my journal, I browsed through it, admiring my old ideas as I reached a blank page. I figured getting lost in my mind was the best solution for now. I needed to hide away, and for today to end already. This was what I needed.
Sitting back in the chair more comfortably, I looked outside again, emptying my mind and allowing ideas to form. I hardly ever tried to force the ideas to come, they just came whenever I went about my normal day, but my mind had been so busy these days that no idea had time to form. This was the best attempt I had at making ideas come to me.
With my pen ready, I closed my eyes and just waited.
Chapter Ten
Juno
I was the worst mate ever.
Nix and I had decided the best action would be for us to act like yesterday never happened, for me to go out with Remi and then kiss him like humans did after a date. I’d gotten the others from our team to help me out and they’d seen movies and read books on dating, so I would have more to go on. I’d let Remi fall into a deep sleep, then carried him back to his room with Nix, erasing his roommate’s memory of us bringing him back, and then returned to our own room.
This morning, I had the pleasure of yet another call from the rulers, stating that I wasn’t allowed to kiss Remi until he knew where I was from. Why? Because they suddenly realized he might get magic once we mated, and it could happen when we kissed. So, that was fun.
Then I attended classes and made plans with Nix on how to act around Remi, pretending today was our date and hoping he was confused enough to believe it. I hadn’t expected his emotions, though. Those had to be a lot to deal with, and evenworse, he’d run away from me.Again. I wasn’t faring any better, my own emotions warring with me, begging me to kiss him. To hold him. I simply knew why and that was the only way to sort of deal with it. Getting Remi somewhere private was crucial. There was just the tiny issue of where he was hiding.
An hour later, I was truly desperate. Remi was nowhere to be found. I’d checked all the bathrooms, the cafeteria, his dorm, outside. He was gone and I was losing it. Calling Nix was the only solution.
“Hey,” he greeted immediately.
Ignoring his greeting I said, “I can’t find him, can you?”
