Remi
Juno:Oh, okay.
I’d fucked up. Why had I backpedaled? I’d been so nervous he was gearing up to reject the weirdo that ran from him, that when he took too long to answer I shot down the payment thing, joking about it not being a date so he wouldn’t reject me. But I’d ended up rejecting him instead. Fuck, he’d been okay with going on a date with me.BeforeI fucked everything up.
I flung myself dramatically down on my bed, feeling like the biggest idiot ever. I could fix this! Iwouldfix this! I had no idea what was up with my feelings towards Juno, but I knew I wanted to date him. Feeling determined, I quickly typed out a new text.
Remi:Unless you want it to be a date?
Knowing he took forever to reply, I forced myself not to take the words back this time. A ding came a few seconds later.
Juno:Yes, please.
The smile I had on my face almost hurt my cheeks. I didn’t even care that Derek eyed me warily from his computer. I was glad the date wasn’t until tomorrow, since I felt like I needed to truly let my feelings sink in. I was attracted to a man. A blonde, blue eyed man. Abeautifulman. And what I’d first thought was attraction to others, wasn’t attraction at all, maybe more like an appreciation for their beauty? No matter, I now knew that wasn’t attraction. This, though, what I felt for Juno, was real attraction. And I wasn’t going to let him slip through my fingers. Something told me I needed him, and I wasn’t going to let logic ruin that for me.
Quickly remembering to answer Juno I typed out what I hoped was a flirty response. I still had to earn a lot of points to make up for running away.
Remi:Looking forward to seeing you again.
Was that fine? Too much? Too formal? I sucked at texting, not seeing the other person was tricky for me. I much preferred speaking to people in person to feel their presence as we conversed, this made me second-guess every word.
Juno:Me too, beautiful.
A choked whimper escaped me. How could the wordbeautifulaffect me so much? I felt the word all the way to my toes and back again, my dick hardening just from those few written words. I really needed a breather to prepare myself for tomorrow. I couldn’t get hard just from hearing his voice, that would be mortifying.
Another ding from my phone alerted me I had an email. I quickly checked it and immediately felt my dick deflate and my face paling. Mr. Trent. I opened the email, fearing I was out of luck and that he’d finally failed me, but to my surprise he’d givenme what appeared to be one last chance. I had an assignment with a new student, a paper we would write together outside of class that would make up for my, in his words, “lacking performance”. I was okay with that, more than okay! I wasn’t letting this chance go to waste, whoever this new student was, he or she would get the perfect partner to work with.
Sitting down on my bed, no longer wanting to flee from Derek, I read through the assignment and took screenshots of what we needed to do. We had a month before the assignment was due and he only needed it sent to his email, not printed which helped immensely with the deadline too. He’d invited my partner and me to a meeting tomorrow to go over the details and introduce us. I only had one class tomorrow after work so that suited me just fine. I just had to make a good impression on the new student. Then after the meeting I would get ready for my date with Juno.
I dried off my still damp body as I looked over my clothing choices for the day. If Juno saw me before our date I didn’t want to look like a slob, and I also didn’t want him to see that I’d changed for our date. What if he thought that was putting too much effort into a dinner date? Casual dinner date? I hated this. I’d never been this nervous about how I looked. Why did I care so much about what Juno thought of me? Was it just because he was the only one I’d ever been truly attracted to? Or was itjust because it was Juno? Since my brain couldn’t answer those questions, I let it slide and picked a light blue hoodie. Why? Because it was the cleanest thing I owned.
Derek was snoring softly while I admired myself in our mirror. Thinking of Juno admiring my looks sent a flutter of excitement through me. I would have to skip breakfast; no way was I going to keep my food down with these damn butterflies occupying the space.
I left poor Derek to sleep peacefully; he’d had a terrible nightmare that had woken both of us up at two a.m. I’d hastily tugged off my t-shirt and thrown it at him, a desperate solution I hoped would help, and it had. He’d picked it up and breathed it in like his soul needed it. Still creepy but I found myself less bothered by it now that we’d spoken more. I couldn’t judge him for his ways of self-soothing. I didn’t have nightmares like he did, never had. Whatever demons he dealt with were his own, and like hell was I going to continue to judge him on what helped.
I made it to work five minutes early and had an uneventful morning shift. My thoughts had wandered to Juno so many times I actually had no idea how I managed to work through it. I’d only seen the man once and texted him a tiny bit. How was I such a mess? Maybe I should text Jason before class? He was gay so maybe he understood? He’d had his own awakening when he saw a former exchange student and had been out and proud ever since, even with the exchange student going back to his country and leaving Jason heartbroken.
I left work feeling determined to ask Jason a few questions before class started, sending him a text to meet up with me earlier than usual. I found Jason waiting for me outside of Mrs. Lousen’s class. It was the only other class we shared, aside from Mr. Trent’s. “Hey, man,” Jason greeted with a warm smile. “Did you remember to study this time?”
Study?Fuck!
“The test,” I whispered, looking off into the distance like my life was a movie and this was the final test and I’d failed.
Jason winced. “You forgot.” I nodded, he already knew but I figured I owed him at least a nod.
“I’m so messed up lately,” I admitted, more to myself than to Jason.
“This guy you mentioned in your text, is it because of him?” He asked in a tentative way, prodding for answers without raising my defenses.
“I only met him yesterday. Can’t really blame it on him.” I’d only texted Jason that I needed his advice on a guy I was interested in, coming out to him over text wasn’t even something I’d thought about, I’d just needed his advice and for him to understand the situation.
“Hmm,” was all he said, looking me up and down. “Why are you wearing your blue hoodie?”
I looked down at myself, regretting all my life choices. Why hadn’t I studied fashion more? What color would even make my green eyes pop?
Without thinking I answered truthfully. “Because his eyes are the same shade.” I felt my cheeks heat as Jason’s eyes widened in shock. It wasn’t until I’d spoken the words that I realized it was the truth. I picked this one, not because it was clean, but because it reminded me of Juno’s eyes.
“Man…. I need to see this dude!” he looked around like Juno was hiding out of sight somewhere close. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms protectively over my chest.
