“It’s just dinner, Gretch.”
Except, it’s not—it’s a confessional. Can it ever bejust dinnerbetween Connor and me? I’m not convinced it can. I’m suddenly at a loss for why I ever decided to make this dinner reveal such a big deal.
A rush of air escapes my lips as I stumble over a reply, “Of course. I know that.”
“Okay,” he says, unconvinced, as he pushes off the wall. “You just kind of seem like a hamster spinning in a wheel right now.” In other words,you’re being weirdand of course he sees right through me.
I can’t bring myself to admit he’s right. “I’m fine.” I’m not fine.
I swipe my toiletry bag from the vanity table and head to the bathroom, but Connor’s voice stops me. “Hey, I saw a pharmacy up the road. I need to grab a few things I forgot. You need anything?”
“I’m good. What’d you forget?”
“Toothpaste.”
“You can borrow mine if you?—”
“And a toothbrush.”
I grimace. “Okay, gross. I can’t help you with that. Sorry, not sorry.”
He grins. “I’ll be back in twenty. Text me if you think of anything.”
I wave him off and close myself in the bathroom. I don’t need to shower. All of my makeup and hair products are in the bedroom. I have no reason to be in here other than the six-foot-two man hoarding all of the oxygen on the other side of the door.
The sound of the front door closing vibrates the wall at my back and I let out a long breath.
Connor’s cool, calm, collected nature has always been contrary to my perpetual state of a little worried and a lot trying-to-act-like-I’m-not.
Has he forgotten the events of the past several weeks? To start off, we see each other for the first time in three years, then he dumps his girlfriendand thenhe drops everything to jump on a plane to be here with me and, despite the lack of closure, he still manages to look and feel completely effortless even though us being here together is totally bizarre…and weird.
This whole situation isfreakingweird and I hate how it doesn’t seem to faze him.
I’m probably overthinking everything, so I throw my hair in a messy bun and decide to hop in the shower after all, to clear my head. To regroup.
I came here to meet the woman who gave birth to me. Everything—everyone—else is secondary.
Wrapped in one of the plush resort robes, I emerge from the steamy bathroom half an hour later.
It’s not the muffled sounds of the television coming from the living room or the fact that the bedroom doors that were open before are now closed that gives his presence away. It’s the tension in my shoulders easing, the warm smile that spreads across my face at the sight of the fountain Diet Coke and bag of peanut butter M&Ms on the vanity that tells me he’s here.
And my hamster wheel slows to a crawl.
Chapter Fourteen
EARN BACK HER TRUST
Connor
Lauren
We broke up and now you don’t want to talk to me. I don’t get it but I guess I have to learn to be alright with it. But will you please tell me if you’re okay? You ran out of the office this morning in a panic. I’ve called Drew and Reagan but they’re not responding either. I’m worried, Connor.
Me
I’m sorry. I promise I’m okay.
Can I call you later tonight so we can talk?
