“I had some bleeding on Sunday morning,” Reagan continues for him. “But they told me that could be a normal side effect of the injection so I didn’t think much of it. By the afternoon it was worse. I felt a little woozy and then I got this sudden, piercing pain in my stomach when I tried to get up from the couch. Next thing I remember is waking up at the hospital, being prepped for surgery.”
“She passed out,” my brother adds as he takes a seat. He wraps an arm around her, her head falling naturally to his shoulder. “I called 911, they loaded her in an ambulance. It was a whole ordeal. They knew right away that her fallopian tube had ruptured so they rushed her into surgery as soon as we got here.”
I swipe away the tears I didn’t even realize were falling until one lands on Reagan’s hospital blanket. I look to Connor who stands with arms crossed over his chest. Face grave and clouded with sympathy.
“I’m so glad you’re okay. Thank God the doctor saw you early and caught it.”
Reagan’s breath shudders, gaze fixed on where her husband squeezes their palms together. Drew’s eyes transform, only a little, but the sadness is heavier now than it was a few moments ago and something about the shift gives me pause.
I tilt my head at him. He looks from me down to Reagan who gives an acquiescent nod.
“The doctor had us come in early because we’ve…been in a similar situation before. Not exactly like this, thank God, but it’s not our first loss.”
Reagan buries her face in my brother’s shoulder, my own tears falling unabashedly now as Connor paces the room, hands clasped at the back of his neck.
“So, you’ve—” I stop myself, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ask, it’s not my business.”
“It’s okay. We probably should start telling people. I’ve…um…had three miscarriages before this.” Her shoulders slump, weighed down by shame and guilt.
“Sweetheart, don’t.” Drew lifts her chin. “You’ve done nothing wrong and there isnothingwrong with you.” Her body shrinks on a quiet sob and he kisses her forehead. His lips move to her ear, whispering a quiet “I love you so much” only meant for her.
After Drewand Reagan’s emotional tell-all, they insisted we drop the subject and move on to happier topics.
When the doctor came in to do a check-up, Connor and I ducked out to grab lunch. We arrived back to Reagan’s room thirty minutes later with a spread of greasy burgers, fries, sodas and milkshakes.
“I wanna hear about the trip,” my brother says once we’re all settled in our respective seats with our food.
I look to Connor who gives me athis is all youshoulder shrug.
Pivoting back to Drew, I gulp down my mouth full of fries and answer, “It was fun. We hiked Devil’s Bridge, shopped around Sedona.” I avert my eyes. “Spent some time up in Flagstaff.”
Drew’s attention darts between Connor and me. “And?”
He’s already intuited that the trip was more than just a birthday celebration. I know he wants answers and I did promise them to him, but this is not the time or place.
“And,” I drag out the word, searching for something to add.
“Oh, we had a pool day,” Connor interjects. “It was hot as balls, bro.”
Drew’s curious gaze lands back on me and I give him a look that I hope conveys that I hear him and promise to tell him everything soon. It seems to work because he stops pushing. “I’m glad you had a good time.”
Drew’s phone buzzes beside him, a welcome disruption, and he quickly reaches for it. “Mom and Dad are boarding their flight in Rome and want to know if we can meet for lunch day after tomorrow. You in?”
I nod as I lift my burger to my mouth.
“I can bring something back for you,” Drew says to Reagan who, though she’ll be discharged tomorrow, will need to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. “Is that okay?”
Her mood has lifted since we moved past the heavy start to our visit. While I’m sure grief will idle under the surface of all thatbadasseryfor a long time to come, if there’s anyone I know who can face this and come out stronger on the other side, it’s Reagan.
She agrees and Drew types back a quick reply. Fingers moving over his screen, he adds, “You’re invited, too.”
Connor looks up. He scans the room as though there’s anyone else here that my brother could be referring to. “Me?”
“Yeah, now that Mom knows you went on the trip instead of me, she wants to hear about everything from both of you.”
Connor’s agreement is a foregone conclusion and I can’t helpbut smile because that definitely sounds like my mother. I find his gaze amidst the sound of crinkling burger wrappers, slurping straws and jostling paper bags.
It’s merely a flicker of a moment, but he pounces. Smirk on display, the guy winks at me.
