I smirk. “Ha, I’ve been waiting for this. Do you want to hear about how I lost a game of gay chicken against him?”
22
ERIK
Once again, I wake up at six to a goodnight message from Luke.
The news he got from his company put a massive damper on our good moods and his plans to move to Sweden. He was all set to come here this month, arranging to store some stuff at his parents’ house and getting quotes to ship the rest over, but he didn’t want to pull the trigger until he’d sorted his job out.
That isn’t materializing anytime soon, based on his glum updates.
Still, there’s some kind of thin silver lining to him staying in Canada for a while longer. Even though Alvik didn’t win the Le Mat Trophy this year, Nils and I were invited to coach at an elite training camp in Minnesota for a month, where our coach said that there would be NHL scouts.
Nils turned down the offer in favor of training closer to home, saying that the scouts could come to him. Me, on the other hand? I think it’s a good chance for scouts to assess me for what they call “leadership and team culture management,” whatever that’s supposed to mean.
Besides, Minnesota is a hell of a lot closer to Toronto than Sweden is. I’m flying out tomorrow, and I’m looking forward tothe smaller time difference. And, after the camp ends, I won’t say no to spending time at Luke’s apartment again.
While I think we’re killing it at this long-distance relationship thing, the two of us want this distance to be over. We’re at around the three-month mark, and even though we aren’t sappy, weird, and new anymore, hearing from Luke still makes me all excited in a calm way. That hasn’t changed.
I’m in the middle of packing for camp, and I’m hit with another pang of missing Luke. It’s a reasonable hour in Toronto, so I flop down on my bed and call him.
“Hey, babe,” he says, because of course he does. Whenever I think that Luke can’t possibly get any cuter, he pulls something new out that makes me go all soft inside. “Whatcha doing?”
“Nothing much, just packing and cleaning my apartment.”
“Nice! Are you excited?”
“Yeah, for sure. I don’t know what my schedule is going to be like, but I’ll keep you posted.”
Luke nods. “For sure. I’m sure I can take some time off and visit you.”
Even though I’d love to see Luke whenever I can, my stomach still drops at the thought of him using even more vacation to see me. He already visited me for a week, and he shouldn’t have to use his limited vacation time for my sake, not when I’m off for the rest of the summer.
“Sounds great,” I say. “But I’ll visit you, too.”
Luke’s eyes flick off to the side as he bites his lower lip, the gesture giving me pause as to what he’s about to say, while also reminding me, yet again, how attracted I am to him.
“I wish…” He sighs. “I wish I could go back to Sweden with you after your camp is done.”
“Same here. I miss you so much, Lukey.”
He smiles, but it’s weak. “You know, I’ve been thinking about this,” he says, and I freeze.
There are so many ways he could continue that sentence, and very few of those ways are good.
“I’m going to put a limit on trying to move with my company,” he continues, “if it doesn’t end up working out, I’ll take a leave of absence, go to Sweden, and live off my savings for a year if I have to. Or maybe I’ll quit.”
I choke on the sip of water that I took before Luke dropped that bombshell of a revelation on me. He’s planning to dowhat?
“Say again?” I ask, in case I didn’t hear him correctly the first time.
“If I can’t find a job that lets me live in Sweden, I can take a year of personal leave, move to Sweden, and use that time to get my paperwork in order.”
That doesn’t sound healthy at all. He wouldn’t be dependent on me, but uprooting himself and coming here without anything lined up? That’s wild, especially since he only got his job a year ago. Sure, I crave Luke every single goddamn day, but if he puts his career on hold to be with me, I don’t think I could live with myself.
“You can’t do that,” I tell him, without thinking first. “You have a career, and you shouldn’t toss that out to follow me.”
“It’s no big deal. I could use a break, especially since I haven’t really had one since I started university almost five years ago.”
