“Anything else?”
Derek sighs. “No. That’s it, unless you want to discuss visa options for your, uh, partner?” He trails off, tentative, and I don’t reply.
What would I even say?“Hey, Luke. I know we met less than a month ago, but I really like you, so do you want to quit your high-paying job and move across the world with me to a country where you don’t speak the language and probably won’t find work for half a year?”
As if.
“That won’t be necessary. Thanks for letting me know.”
“No problem. And again, I’m sorry about all this.”
The line clicks, I throw my phone onto the sofa, and I bury my face in my hands. Luke chooses that exact moment to emerge from his room.
“Shit, Erik, what’s wrong?” He rushes over and slings an arm around me. “Are you okay?”
While the word “no” is short, it still gets stuck in my throat. I suck in air, trying to steady myself, but Luke has other ideas and hugs me closer.
“Hey, it’s okay. Talk to me.”
Emotion rises in my throat and I stop myself from wailing. Barely. “Everything is shit.”
Luke gives my hand a squeeze which should be comforting, but it only serves as a reminder that what I hoped to have with him is being relegated to a pile of what-ifs. “What happened?”
“My contract is split between a team here and one in Sweden. They’re sending me back and I don’t have a choice.” The pit in my stomach is already heavy, and getting the words out makes it worse.
When Luke tightens his grip instead of pulling back, that pit disappears. It’s like Luke saps all the tension from the call out of my body, and I’m hit with the easiest calm I’ve ever known. Even my racing mind can’t make my body tense back up.
“Are you excited to go home?” Luke finally asks. His grip loosens and I lean into him, chasing his touch.
“No.”
Luke bunches his lips together. “How much longer do you have here?”
“A week. Then I’m gone.”
He hesitates, but only for a second. “And is this move good for your career?” he asks.
“Probably?” I let out a heavy sigh. “There’s more pay and growth potential in the SHL compared to where I am now. More stability, too.”
Luke gives me a weak smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”
I clasp my hands together and press my face into my fingertips. Every single one of Luke’s questions were aboutme. He isn’t even thinking about himself.
My god, I wish I had more time with him. I wish I could take him with me.
I wish I could ask Luke to come with me, but that would be absurd. I haven't even known him for a month.
“Fuck, I’m gonna miss you,” he says.
And that settles it. If this morning wasn’t hard enough, Luke twists the knife without even trying.
I sink my head down, blinking and struggling to hold myself together. “Yeah.” I rub my eyebrow. “And I was gonna ask to make things official today.”
For the first time this morning, Luke lets his feelings slip, and he runs both hands down his face. “Same here. Fuck. This is some awful timing, holy shit.”
Don’t cry. Do not fucking cry.
“I’ve had such an amazing time with you.” A ragged breath escapes me, and I replace it with a shaky inhale to hold back an onslaught of tears. “We can’t…fuck. I can’t stay here, but can we pretend I’m not leaving? Just for the week we have left?”
