‘I can’t wait to grill him.’
She pulled a face at him and then with a wave was gone.
Once everyone was settled, Jack went to get a shower before they were due to go out. His thoughts went to Ava who he was looking forward to spending the evening with. He really did like her, but was it worth igniting a flame, heating up the desire, perhaps taking things further when they lived such different lives, and miles apart? Maybe if he did, she’d think it was just a holiday fling, and he wasn’t sure if he could lose her twice.
He wiped the steam from the mirror above the sink ready for a wet shave but stopped. He’d punched the previous one soon after Dan had died, its shattered pieces falling along with his tears. As a twin, it was hard not to see his brother.
From the moment he’d known Dan was gone, Jack had felt as if a part of him had been ripped away. Yet, how had he notknown what was going on? How could two people so close to him be deceitful? They’d made him out to be a fool.
He still woke up some nights wondering how they could have done it to him, and Alison. How they could have got away with it for so long, too. He’d had no idea, and if Katrina hadn’t told him he would never have found out. It had left him insecure and unable to commit, hence a few dates here and there but nothing that had been at all satisfying.
He thought back to when Katrina had told him. It had been the night of the funeral. The wake had been held at the hotel, and they had got home around eight that evening.
Once Brooke was in bed, Katrina had joined him in the kitchen. He’d thought her sadness was because of the emotions of the day, so had gone to comfort her. But she’d stepped aside his open arms and sat down instead.
‘I need to tell you something,’ she’d said.
It had all come out, the most heartbreaking minute of his life.
‘How long?’ he asked.
‘Eighteen months.’
He’d poured away his coffee before the urge to throw it at the wall became too much. ‘So what’s the plan now?’
‘I have to go,’ she told him. ‘I can’t be with you anymore. You remind me of him too much.’
‘Does anyone know?’
Katrina shook her head. ‘Not unless we were seen out.’
Jack balked. ‘How would anyone know if you were with Dan instead of me? We’re identical!’
Katrina said nothing.
‘But why? Wasn’t I enough?’
‘You know we hadn’t been getting on. Dan and I got talking one night, and it just happened.’
‘Well, I suppose you didn’t have to close your eyes to imagine you were with him when we made love.’ Jack ran his hand through his hair. ‘What a mess.’
It had been awful telling his family. First his parents, and then his brother and sisters. They all agreed to keep it to themselves, but the secret haunted them. Noah couldn’t even talk to Katrina, Cara headed back to London immediately afterwards. Within a year, Noah went to Edinburgh, and Jack and Eliza were left to pick up the pieces.
Luckily, he’d had DCI Rudyard to fill his lonely evenings. His writing kept him going. Rudyard became a saviour to him. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without him. Which was why he wanted to do the series justice when it came to the rebranding. And why he’d been so pleased to get Ava on board with the covers as long as she didn’t lose her nerve.
Now he’d reconnected with her, he was going to make sure his demons didn’t ruin what he thought was brewing, too.
CHAPTER THIRTY
It seemed everywhere Stella looked people were excited about the lakeside event. It was a huge effort for her to go to them nowadays. After Dan’s death, it hadn’t seemed appropriate to mingle with people he knew like they were having fun without him. Then it became a habit not to go rather than enjoy a night catching up with everyone in the community.
Stella could recall the day Dan had died in technicolour. It was as if it happened minutes ago and never left her mind. She’d had a phone call from Jack to say that Dan had slipped, that he’d called for an ambulance as his brother wasn’t responding.
She and Max had rushed along, taking the car as near as possible and then running the rest of the way. When they’d arrived, there had been two paramedics trying to resuscitate Dan. Jack said he’d been in the ditch. He and Katrina had pulled him out and laid him on the road.
Later, she would find out that Dan had been heading to meet Katrina. She’d been out with Graham, taking him for a walk, so the two of them could meet in secret. Finding Dan unconscious, she had then rung Jack.
It had broken Stella’s heart twice over when she’d realised what had been going on between them. And although she wouldnever tell Jack, she’d been glad when he and Katrina split up. Because, just as he didn’t want to be reminded of his twin, Stella couldn’t cope with the deceit between Dan and Katrina, and the fact that Dan might have been alive had he not been out meeting her. Of course it took two to do that sort of thing, but as a mother she wanted to blame the person who had been left behind.
