Page 16 of Brian and Mina's Holiday Hits
“Master, please…” I whimper.
“Do you think we’re here to pleasure you? After what you did today?”
His voice has taken on that hard edge again.
“N-no, Master.”
I jump as he flings the whip across the room and goes to the table with all the sharp and pointy things. He notices me watching him and comes blazing back, his mouth pressed against my ear.
“Did I tell you you could watch? That would spoil everything. Close your eyes.”
I do as he commands, and a moment later he’s tied a blindfold over my eyes.
“Brian?”
“What did you just call me?”
“Master… you’re scaring me.”
He only laughs at this. He’s gone into that zone. Part of me fears he’s put me in the category with all the other bad girls he hurts. And now I am terrified.
But I’m also grateful. This real, sharp, clean, harsh feeling. It’s not muted and bubble wrapped. It’s not hidden behind layers of thick cotton. Still, I wish it was a brighter, happier feeling that pulls me from the edge of the abyss, pulling me back into parts of myself I’d lost.
I hear him leave the cell, but a few minutes later he’s back. I gasp as I feel the cold hard steel of a blade pressed flat against my back.
“Master… are you going to hurt me?”
“Is that what you need to be a good girl?”
I forgot how terrifying this man could be. I forgot just how dark when it wasn’t aimed at me. And I find myself suddenly afraid he’s gone so deep into that twisted place inside himself that maybe he isn’t fully aware of who he has tied up. Maybe right now I’m just another piece of flesh bound for him to torture and break.
Then music begins to play. It’s Chopin’s Nocturne number 2. I somehow know he’s got it on repeat. It’s the music he listens to, to chase the monsters away—music his mother gave him. It’s the music he gave me anonymously when I first came to the house, to help chase my monsters away.
He strokes my trembling back with his other hand. “Shhhhh. You’ll survive me.”
And then the tears come. I haven’t cried in months. About anything. The tears have all been trapped inside me. I couldn’t find a way to make them come out, but now they flow freely. Brian just touches my back gently while I cry. Finally, I take a long deep breath and blow it out slowly.
“Are you ready to begin?” he asks.
“Yes, Master.”
He drags the blade across my flesh over and over. The pain slicing through so many layers of numbness, and I can feel again, even if it may not be forever, it’s now. Now and when I fucked Brian in the dungeon in front of Matsumoto.
It takes me almost a full minute to realize, he’s not just cutting me for the hell of it… he’s making letters.
“Master, please,” I whisper around the tears. But I don’t know what I’m begging him for.
I’m so caught up in this eternal now of vulnerability and pain, that I don’t realize it’s over until he turns off the music, removes the blindfold, and presses a kiss to my cheek as though this were a totally normal thing for two people to do.
He unties me and carries me out of the cell, through our bedroom, to the large bathroom. He turns me so I can see my back in the mirror. The wordMineis carved into my skin.
I can’t stop the smile as it quirks up to one side. It’s perfect. No one but Brian could make something so macabre look like art. It’ll leave a scar—this word on my back, forever. Everything about this feels right.
“Are you all right? Do you feel light headed?”
“I’m fine, Master.”
He leaves and comes back with a small orange juice from the mini-fridge in our room. “Drink this anyway.”
