We said we wouldn’t tell anyone, even though our friends and his siblings, probably know us better than our parents. Yet, last night, we walked our happy selves back into Il Sapore, and played Oscar-worthy roles.
We should’ve been celebrating my best friend and his brother, mixing and mingling. Yet, we spent the rest of the evening stealing glances we had no business taking.
And the champagne?
BIG MISTAKE!
Magnifying the senses when we were still fresh on the skin? When I could smell him on me, us on me?Feel him moving with purpose inside me?
I just know he’s still figuring how he’s going to spin this. He’s inwardly berating himself for acting out of character and doing what we did then walking back in that room looking guilty as all get-out. Predictably, this devastatingly handsome man who recharged my batteries is likely still worried about what Dante and Morgan will think, after he went on and on about an extended engagement.
“Jesus, Avery.” He rubs his face. “Please stop saying it like that.”
I hesitate, then nod.
Reaching my hand up, I run my fingers through his hair, kiss his nose.
A heavy sigh spills out of me.
The air electrifies.
“God, I love your curls.”
“Yeah?” He seems shocked. “Even with the gray? Because I was thinking about dyeing it—”
“No, it’s the perfect mix of black and silver, and…” My insides ache with need. “Just…leave it.”
“Okay, I will.” A calm smile smooths his expression.
I can tell he’s turning over something in his head. Then his gaze flits briefly to my hair.
To my wig.
“I know you’re probably wondering how my hair always looks this fabulous…” I jest.
“Actually, I love your hair. I just wondered if maybe, there was a story behind it.”
I roll onto my back, letting my sigh plume out of me.
“Would it make sense to you if I said it’s about control?”
“Your choice,” he reasons.
Tossing Stefano a sidelong glance, I see the genuine interest in his eyes. He wants to understand, and based on the hurt he’s been through, he might be the only person I know who might.
“It was after I lost Justin.” That familiar pang of sadness stirs in my gut. “I felt like my life was spinning out. I was a widow and single mom. I was struggling to understand the legalities of moving on without him, looking for signs of him everywhere, then feeling more alone when there were none.”
“That must’ve been so hard.”
I chew the inside of my cheek, forcing myself to continue. “I spent so much time in bed, listening to self-help podcasts, and holding on to his clothes because it made me feel closer to him.” I shrug, feeling exposed, now that he knows what sparked my thorough list. “Then I hated the guilt I had for accepting so much help from Mommy with Ace or enjoying myself while doinganything.Slowly trying to put the pieces of my life back together…it was overwhelming.”
Tears prick at my eyes, and Stefano pulls me closer, holding me to his chest, coaxing me to let it out.
“I changed my hair a million times. Cuts, colors, styles, I did it all.” My heart wrenches. “I was stuck while the world was moving on. Every day felt like losing him again. Then, one day, I tried a wig, and something clicked. I had so many emotions swirling inside my head that I couldn’t get a handle on, couldn’t control. But at least I could control what wasonmy head, you know?”
Stefano turns me back to face him. For so long, he stares at me, searching my eyes like he’s watching the pictures scrolling across my mind.
“I’m so amazed by you, Avery Ellis.”