Look, if you had, one shot,
one opportunity,
to seize everything you ever wanted,
in one moment,
would you capture it?
Or just let it slip?
Metal doors CLANG. Footsteps POP. A TEAM enters, striding side by side, superheroes with blow-dryers, clothing racks, and medical equipment.
The WOMAN looks up. It’s EDIE.
QUICK CUTS:
… EDIE runs on the beach; she’s struggling. The DATING COACH yells—
DATING COACH
No pain! No pain!
… EDIE’s laid out on a weightlifting bench. Waxing strips are stuck all over her face. Hands appear and rip them off. EDIE moans.
… in the locker room, A HAIRSTYLIST shows EDIE how to dry her hair.
HAIRSTYLIST
She’s never going to get it.
DATING COACH
She’s got to.
… back on the beach, EDIE trips and falls.
… EDIE stares straight ahead, struggling to keep a glowing Crest 3DWhitestrips Blue Light™ LED teeth whitener in her mouth, as a syringe enters the frame. It punctures her brow.
… a very full glass of green juice. EDIE refuses to drink it.
DATING COACH
You want to get married?
EDIE chugs.
… EDIE collapses in the sand. And then finds it within herself to start crawling.
DATING COACH
That’s it! That’s it!
… the DATING COACH holds up a tiny thong and giant pair of Spanx. EDIE chooses the Spanx. The TEAM cheers.
… EDIE applies her own lipstick. The TEAM cheers.
… the DATING COACH shows EDIE how to toss her hair and smile. EDIE masters it. The TEAM cheers.
