“No,” he says. “Tonight, I’m going to take you.”
“Take me?”
“Yeah. Take you,” he says in a very low voice.
He dims the lights and tenderly takes off my clothes. Every time I try to help, he stops me.
When I’m naked, he pulls my hands above my head again, covers my whole body with his, and kisses me. It’s so deep and thorough and yearning that it feels like falling down a tunnel to the center of the earth. It’s how you wouldkiss if there were no chance of escalation. If first were the only base. If kissing were the greatest bliss, the deepest connection, in the universe.
He kisses me like that even as he slides into me.
He kisses me like that even as I come.
We’ve slept together, but this is the first time we’ve made love.
8MUTINY
Wonders of the Caribbean, Day 7
Welcome to Nassau, Bahamas!
Today theRomance of the Seawill dock upon the crystal clear waters of the Bahamas’ beautiful capital city. Walk along white sand beaches, dine on the local conch delicacies, admire the colonial architecture of the historical Old Town, and prepare for exhilarating excursions—whether you plan to sunbathe for the day at the world-famous Atlantis resort, swim with the pigs on Rose Island, or explore underwater reefs and shipwrecks on our four-hour snorkeling tour!
Enjoy your day in Paradise!
Felix
The emotion I feel watching Hope when I wake up is not a “cruise ship hookup” feeling.
It’s the same feeling that sprang up in me last night as I was fucking her. This deep desire to be inside her. Not just physically—but emotionally. Intellectually. To trulyknowher.
It’s something soft I haven’t felt in ages.
Maybe ever.
I can’t believe how soon I’m going to have to let go of it.
Not one sliver of me wants to.
So instead, I let myself imagine her walking around my flat in London in one of my old T-shirts. Sitting in a booth at the Smoke and Gun with my mates after we close, laughing with them over a pint and a bag of crisps. Coming to Sunday lunch in Hampshire and eating my mother’s roast lamb and duck fat potatoes as we banter with my sisters.
Driving down to the coast to look at country inns. Living out her fantasy in the English countryside. The one that could merge so easily with my own dreams for the future.
I get out my phone and go on Rightmove to search for historic houses for sale near Devon.
Just to see.
I discover I could afford one.
My pubs have done very well, and I keep my expenses low and put my savings in the market, investing with the advice of my sisters. I have a solid nest egg.
What if Ididuse it to radically transform my life?
And what if there was some farfetched configuration of the future where that life involved Hope?
I tell myself I’m being ridiculous, but that doesn’t stop excitement from tingling through my fingertips when I see the listing for a large manor house that’s currently being run as an inn. I click on the hotel’s website, which leads me to its Instagram account. I rarely use social media, but I do occasionally log on to see pictures of friends’ weddings and babies, so I open the app.
I have a notification for an unread DM. It’s from someone called @FYIFelixSegrave.
