I fiddle with the air conditioner vent instead of saying anything.
The truth is I have no idea what to say.
Being a more socially adept person than me, Seth changes the subject.
“So how are you?” he asks.
“Right now? Kind of damp.”
“I mean generally speaking.”
“I’m doing okay.”
“So specific and expressive.”
I shrug, because I’m not going to tell him I’m exhausted from the nonstop social maneuvering of scrounging up work, and bored of the oppressive October heat, and lonely from my latest string of empty hookups.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Not much to report.”
“Oh come on. How’s your movie with Margot Tess going? I want to live vicariously through your glamorous life.”
I really, really don’t want to talk about this. See: scrounging up work. But I’m not going to lie to him. So I say, “Not happening. At least, not with me.”
He looks at me with the kind of disbelief that a person with a normal job has at the vagaries of a career in film. “No! What happened?”
“Margot decided she wants to take the script in a more ‘mainstream’ direction. Thought my voice was too ‘prickly.’”
I’m sure he, of all people, can understand what she meant.
“Jesus, Molly. I’m sorry.”
I shrug. “I mean, I still get paid for my work on it, so it’s fine. But it would have been nice to get something big into production.”
“I agree! I want more Molly Marks joints for my own selfish enjoyment.”
“How is your work?” I ask, because I don’t want Seth Rubenstein’s pity, nor further reason to dwell on my current career drought.
“You know, I’m a little bored, if I’m being honest.”
“All those divorces got you down?”
He winces. “I know you think I’m a shithead for practicing family law, and I get it, but you’re actually part of the reason I do what I do.”
I momentarily take my eyes off the road to narrow them at him.
“You were inspired by my childhood trauma to spend your peak earning years causing emotional devastation and financial ruin?”
“No, I wanted to help people. I’m serious.”
“I’m not sure how you could be.”
If I’m honest, it reallydoeshurt me that he would go into that field, after seeing what happened to me and my mother. My dad left her when I was in eighth grade, and Seth was there for the fallout. He saw how my dad’s lawyers and business manager fucked my mom over by moving his money around offshore, and then kept her tied up in court for years when she tried to prove it. He saw how hollowed out we both were by the experience.
I mean, to be clear, we didn’t starve. My father paid his court-ordered child support and my tuition. My mom began cobbling together a new career in real estate. But it took her years to rebuild her finances. The two of us had to move to a shitty apartment, and every time the car broke down it was a roll of the dice over whether we had the cash to fix it. And that’s not getting into her yearslong depression, or my nonstop panic attacks.
Meanwhile, if you’re keeping score, my father bought the first of many sailboats, moved to an oceanfront condo, remarried a person seven years older than me, and saw me one weekend a month.
So yeah. Divorce lawyers. Not a fan.
