Page 66 of The Orphan of Cemetery Hill
Her heart sped up, the sounds of the city fell away, and suddenly it wasn’t a cold, foggy day in December, but that soft spring night all those years ago when the most dashing man had stumbled into her world of death and darkness, bringing with him light and hope.
The last she had heard, the lawyer was working to have Caleb’s sentence commuted for time served. She had assumed it would take months, perhaps even years. But here he was after only a few days.
Alice followed her line of sight and gave a small smile. “He’s a good man,” she said. “I wasn’t sure about him at first, but he proved himself when it mattered the most.”
It was all Tabby could do to nod. Hewasa good man, if impulsive and reckless. After all, he had risked everything to come back. But his betrayal was still a fresh wound. She had wanted him out of prison for his mother’s sake, but now as she watched him approaching, she realized how many things she wanted to say to him.
Alice squeezed Tabby’s hand. “I’ll leave you alone.”
Tabby watched as her sister linked arms with Mary-Ruth and walked along the fenced perimeter of the cemetery, their heads bent together. A moment later Caleb was approaching her, hesitation in his step.
It took everything in her not to run to meet him and throw her arms around him and hungrily inhale his scent that had lingered on the edges of her memory these past months.
He came to an abrupt stop a few feet in front of her, his hat in his hands, his hair tousled and damp from the harbor breeze.
“My mother told me what you did.”
Tabby managed a shrug. “It was nothing.”
“You know very well that it was not nothing. You’ve saved me, three times now. First, when I was a scared young lad. Again when you warned me of Mr. Whitby and persuaded me to escape. And now by rallying her wealthy friends.”
When she didn’t say anything, Caleb continued. “The shipping business is dead. After the scandal with my arrest and escape, and now its association with Whitby, no one will touch it.”
“Oh,” she said, trying not to let her surprise at the abrupt change of subject show on her face.
Caleb shrugged. “I certainly can’t say I’m sorry. I thought perhaps I might try my hand at architectural design.” He gave her a shy look. “It’s always been an interest of mine.”
So he would return to Scotland, to the freedom of pursuing his dreams. “I saw your sketches at your house. They were very good,” she said grudgingly.
Pink touched the tips of his ears and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Ah, yes. My mother is inordinately proud of anything I sign my name to.”
Above them, a crow rasped a call into the damp air, taking flight, and they lapsed into silence. Frigid mud was seeping into her boots, her toes growing numb.
“Tabby...” he started, before trailing off and scrubbing his hand through his fair stubble. He tried again. “Look, here’s how it stands. I don’t want to wait another ten years to see you again, or ten days for that matter. I don’t want to think of you wandering this cemetery like some sort of spirit, worrying about you and if you’re all right.”
She opened her mouth to assure him that she might have once been a lost spirit, but that she’d found a family, made a life for herself. As if reading her thoughts, he hurried on.
“I know that your sister is here now and you have Mary-Ruth and Eli. I know you have no need of a man, let alone a useless man like me, but I just need you to know that I would do anything to make you happy and lift your burdens from you. I would do anything just to catch a glimpse of you every day and would cross a thousand more oceans if it meant being with you. What I did was unforgivable, but I hope you can endeavor to forgive me all the same.”
His words washed over her, but it was like waiting for the thunder clap that followed lightning, and she dared not let out her breath until she was sure of what he was saying.
“Please say something,” he said, his eyes imploring. “I’ve never stood before the woman of my heart and given an impassioned speech before and I’m not sure I’ve done even a passable job at it.”
“Of course you’ve done a passable job at it,” she said bitterly. “Pretty words are your strength. But I need more than words. I think... I think you should go.”
He opened his mouth, but then must have thought better of whatever he was about to say, and just nodded. “I understand.” Turning, he replaced his hat, and began walking away.
He had hurt her. He had done what she always feared, and yet as his figure grew smaller, all she could think of was how much she wanted to be walking hand in hand beside him. Perhaps he would hurt her again, but what love, what happiness, might she miss if she did not give him another chance? She didn’twantto love him. It was inconvenient at best, and downright destructive at worst. But she couldn’t deny the truth any longer.
“Wait! Caleb,” she called after him. “Wait.”
Stopping, he slowly turned around. She ran as fast as her numb toes would allow her to until she was right in front of him, her breath coming in short puffs that evaporated on the warmth of his coat. “Wait,” she said again. “I don’t care.” At his hopeful expression, she hurried on. “Well, I do care. I care very much. You betrayed my trust, but what’s more important, you didn’t believe me. I need to know that you would have believed me anyway, if not for what happened at Harvard. I need to know that you will take me seriously, and that I can trust you.”
He nodded so vigorously that his hat nearly fell off again. “I will. I can.”
“Good,” she said. “You have a lifetime to prove your words with actions.”
He looked at her, his eyes alighting with hope. “You’ll have me, then?”
