She huffed an angry breath. “We’re talking in circles. I don’t care about your cursed heart right now. Where have you been? Why are you here?”
He sighed, glancing down. “I’ve been away.”
“Awaywhere, exactly? And you didn’t think to come back, didn’t think to explain yourself further? You didn’t think atall.”
“You’ve been at the Tower,” he said, catching her gaze and holding it. “Within an arm’s length of Hugon D’Luc and the Children at every waking moment. There are King's Guards at every door, walking the hallways. I couldn't just drop in on you any time I wanted. If I had appeared in your room in the middle of the night, you would have cried wolf. I needed you alone. And anyway, I’ve been… busy.”
“Doing what?” Ru demanded, her self-righteous ire rising to a crescendo. While the artifact seemed to be doing its best to soothe her, its tendrils of unseen energy lapping gently at the contours of her mind, she ignored it. She let the rage grow. “Nothing useful, I'm sure. Probably hiding out like a wounded animal in some cave in the woods. Meanwhile, I’ve been miserable every…” She swallowed, steadying herself. “Everysecondof every day since you left. You don’t know what Lord D’Luc is like. And the Children… they just watch him. He’ll do anything to get what he wants. And they let him.” Hot tears stung her eyes, and she blinked rapidly, trying to will them away.
Taryel’s expression crumpled, a picture of remorse that Ru didn't want to see. It was too late for his feelings.
“I didn’t know,” he said, and the words were low, broken. “I thought he wouldn’t possibly stoop so low, that he couldn’t possibly be that cruel. I thought D’Luc’s bark overpowered his bite. But I was wrong. You are so strong, Ru, but you should never have been forced to endure…” His mouth twisted. “I’m sorry. I’m a fool for leaving you.”
“Obviously,” said Ru, biting down on the instinct to let him comfort her. She knew he wanted to, but it wasn’t his place. She could comfort herself. “So what changed your mind? Finished licking your wounds and now you’ve come to try your luck again and steal the artifact?”
He frowned, obviously disliking this characterization, but not contradicting her. That, at least, he knew not to do. “I’ve been planning,” he said. “I couldn’t risk returning to the Tower, for the sake of us both. I came tonight because I knew there wouldn’t be many Children or guards. I knew I could call you, and you wouldn’t be seen.”
This made a small amount of sense to Ru, which frustrated her. She wanted so badly for every word he spoke to be a lie, to give her more reasons to hate him. She yearned to wallow in her anger. To hurt him as he’d hurt her. But his eyes were clear and honest. He was no longer the madman she had faced at the Shattered City that night when she had seen eternity in his eyes. He was so obviously human now, and vulnerable. Just as she remembered Fen.
Despite herself, her fears, and everything she knew of the man, her heart still sang every time she caught his gaze.
“Why did you call me?” she whispered. They were so close now that he could have lifted a hand and stroked her cheek with the back of a finger, drawing a long shiver out of her. She imagined it, wished for it, hoped he wouldn’t dare.
“To take you with me.”
“But the artifact…”
“We don’t need it,” he said. “We’ll come back for it. It’s useless to Lord D’Luc without you.”
Taryel’s presence, his body, the timbre of his voice… they were relentless against Ru’s barriers, crumbling her walls bit by bit. She had missed Fen. She hadyearnedfor Fen. But was Taryel truly such a different man than the one she longed for? Because here he stood, in the middle of the night, apologizing and ready to take her away. Away from Lord D’Luc, from the Children, even the artifact.
“But where would we go?” she asked as if this was a possibility.
“Home,” he said. And he smiled, a genuine, warm smile, and he was as beautiful as Ru remembered him in the sunlight.
“Yourhome?” she said, incredulous. He had never mentioned a home; in fact, he had often said he had none.
His eyes lit up. “Ours. Wherever we go together, we’ll make it home. Solmaria, or even Mekya. Rothen to the north, if you don’t mind the snow. It’s up to you.”
She gazed up at him, warring with herself. The sting of his betrayal was still so sharp. But they were entwined, the two of them, and she knew it. Was it worth resisting, if only to be pulled back to him again?
“Ru,” he said, pressing a thumb to her cheek, his fingers in her hair. “Come with me.”
She hesitated. He would take her away from Hugon D’Luc. He would save her from the threat of a new Destruction. Hedidn’t even want the artifact, he seemed motivated only to keep her safe.
But…
“I can’t.” The words tasted like ash in her mouth.
A brief, unfettered sadness crossed his face, and that alone broke Ru’s heart all over again. “I won’t hurt you like I did before,” he said. “Ru, you can’t go to the palace. You’ll— ”
Unable to listen anymore, she cut him off. “You can’t just disappear from my life, Fe—” She swallowed painfully, biting her lip. It was like speaking to a ghost. “Taryel. You can’t just disappear and return whenever you like. I don’t trust you. And my friends… Gwyn and Arch aren’t safe if I leave. Lord D’Luc would only hold them hostage. He’d use them against me.”
“Fen,” Taryel repeated as if Ru had struck him. As if remembering a close friend’s recent death. “You can still call me by that name. I’m the same man.”
A tear ran down her cheek, stinging her icy skin as it went. “You’re not.”
She shook her head, pulling herself together. She could not let grief overwhelm her; couldn’t forget that Fen was gone. In truth, he’d never existed. “I can’t come with you. Any part of me that wants to, any part of you that wantsme… it’s the artifact.”
