Ru frowned, standing shakily. “Why not leave now? It’s not even midday.”
“Because you need rest.”
This was true, but Ru could rest on the road. She wanted to be home, surrounded by comforts, and to put her thoughts on hold until then. Out here in the forest, with Fen… everything was turned on its head. At the Tower, things would make sense. She could study the artifact. Determine what it was. How it was able to caress her at her very core. And maybe answers would bring a sort of peace.
“I’d rather go now,” she said. She didn’t want to give those memories of the dig site, of Lady Maryn’s face before the darkness, any more time to fester. Somehow, she thought she could purge them if she could only get home.
Fen ignored her, returning to where she sat near the fire. He settled himself nearby, perched on a lichen-riddled boulder. “Ruellian,” he said as if tasting the word. Rolling it on his tongue. “Family name?”
It was as if he hadn’t heard her at all. “If you don’t take me to the Tower now,” she said, impatient, “I’ll simply go on my own.”
He regarded her coolly. “And what, steal my horse?”
“No,” she said, “you’ll let me borrow her. If you were a gentleman—”
“I’m not a gentleman,” he said, cutting her off. “I may be the son of a marquis, but I’ve never set foot in the palace at Mirith. I don’t know the first thing about courtly pleasantries. And yet, somehow, I would wager that a woman’s safety should be prioritized above all else. Or would a gentleman disagree?”
Ru thought of her brother, who she considered to be the perfect gentleman. His mannerisms, his behavior, from the way he walked to the way he spoke — it was all a product of the court, a practiced dance. Was that what she looked for in a male companion, what she expected? Grudgingly, she had to admit it wasn’t. It was pretty, sugar-spun, but mostly nonsense that playacted politeness and care.
Fen was rough around the edges, cutting straight to the point. But it felt real, genuine in a way that palace politics had never seemed. Even academics often let competition and clever turns of phrase lead the way instead of openness. Instead of genuine emotion, expression.
Ru hated to admit that Fen was far more attentive and gentle than any man she had met in her youth, when she had spent time at court with her brother. Before she departed for the Tower.
“Fine,” she agreed, at last, the acquiescence taking a great deal of effort. “We’ll leave in the morning. But in exchange, I want to know more about you. If we’re going to spend the night together, I feel entitled to at least one of your secrets.”
“One of my secrets?” Fen said, laughingly. “I still know nothing about you, other than your name.”
“You know I’m an academic.”
“I could have guessed that from the start.” A smile crept across his handsome features.
She frowned. “How?”
“The way you speak. Your mannerisms.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment,” she said, annoyed. She knew she didn’t have the refined bearing of a highborn woman or the fast-talking confidence of a city-dweller. But to be so transparently an academic felt strange, as if her true self was on full display for everyone to see, no matter how she felt about it.
“It is,” said Fen, and the warmth in his expression told Ru it was the truth. “You’re confident. You think before you speak. And you don’t talk just for the sake of it.”
The accuracy of the statement set Ru off-balance. “That’s quite a conclusion to come to after only knowing me for a matter of hours.”
“And now you’re deflecting,” he said, grinning, “because you know it’s true.”
Ru sulked slightly, pushing her hair behind her ear, fidgeting in the face of his perception. It was true, but that didn’t mean she had to admit it. That she had to like it.
“You’re uncomfortable,” said Fen, his smile fading. “Tell me something, then. On your own terms.”
She had no reason to protest that. No desire to, either.On your own terms. She wanted to hold the words like a gift.
“Ru,” she said at last, letting out a long-held breath. “Call me Ru, if you want. All my friends do. I’m twenty-three. My father’s a textile merchant whom I rarely see, and my mother passed when I was young. My older brother, Simon, lives and works in Mirith. He has rooms at the palace, but we’re not nobility. And I live at the Tower, as you’ve obviously surmised.”
Fen blinked. “That’s it?”
“It’s everything relevant.”
“You’ve just told me about your family. I asked about you.”
The way he sat there, so calmly leaning forward and fixing Ru with that steady gaze. It set her on edge, but not in the way she would have expected. His eyes on her made her blood thrum, made her want to be nearer to him.
