“You think I’m mad,” he said.
“No,” she said at last. “It’s just that what you said… I understand. I feel silly saying it, but I do.”
Fen let out a long breath, one corner of his mouth curving upward in a half-smile. “One can't ignore the call of destiny.”
“So you went? For no reason other than a feeling?”
He nodded. “That very morning. I packed up my things and traveled south until I reached the Shattered City.”
Ru knew what came next.
Whatever he had seen, whatever had happened that was unknown to her, was about to be revealed. Despite her insistence, her determination to know, she wasn’t sure she was ready. Would anyone in her place? She wondered what would happen if she went on forever without knowing, without understanding. Would the memories surface eventually? Or would she live with it like the constant itch of an open sore?
She looked up and saw that Fen was watching her intensely.
“Have you read about the Destruction?” he asked.
This caught her off guard. “Yes, of course.”
Who hadn’t? While nobody knewexactlywhat had occurred inside the epicenter, it was now a matter of common knowledge that long ago, there was some kind of explosion, some destructive force in the city of Ordellun-by-the-Sea. The stories say the city was drenched in darkness for days, maybe weeks. And most stories mentioned a figure in the center of the explosion, burning bright white, arms spread wide as if all that destructive energy had poured directly from his body, tissues, muscle, and skin. They called him the Destroyer.
“When I came to the edge of the Shattered City,” continued Fen, his gaze never leaving hers, “I saw something… like that.”
Ru tried to react emotionally to this news, but she couldn’t. She reached inside and found that she was empty, a void. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I saw an explosion of darkness erupting outward from the epicenter, like a burst bubble, flowing away from a glowing figure. I…” he trailed off.
Ru was a woman of science. She understood, logically, the sequence of events: the obvious trajectory of physical force combined with immense explosive power, the inciting device itself despite its unknown nature, a chemical interaction between active particles of skin meeting stone, an inevitable calculation so smoothly falling into place that it must have been there, in the darkness of her mind, all the while.
“I see,” she said.
Fen’s expression was pained. “You should know that the explosion… it wasn’t nearly as great as the Destruction. Much smaller in diameter and scope. You—”
“I vaporized the entire dig site,” Ru finished for him. “Lady Maryn, the guards, all the researchers. Gone.”
She fixed an unfocused gaze on the fire, and calmly contemplated throwing the artifact, or herself, or both, into the flames.
CHAPTER8
Fen was quiet while Ru processed. She knew that he watched her with concern, leaned slightly forward as if ready to jump into action should she do something unwise. But he was only on the periphery; most of her thoughts were jumbled, confused.
Most of all, she felt a trickle of horror, bleeding in from somewhere unknown, filling her slowly. And yet, somehow, there was also a bizarre sense of relief in the knowing — every piece of the puzzle was in place.
“I vaporized my clothes,” she said tonelessly. “The force of the explosion affected my vision, but only temporarily. Intense waves of pressure against the cornea, or an interaction from…” she had meant to say the artifact but stopped. Wary. What would Fen say if he knew she was carrying around a potential bomb? Even though it had sat quietly since then, never hinting at another explosion, he would no doubt demand that she get rid of it. And she should. She wanted to. Ru wanted nothing more than to be rid of it, to destroy the cursed thing. But at the same time, all she wanted was to be near it, to protect it, to make sure it never left her side.
Only its voice, its unending press against the back of her mind, let her know that it was more than it seemed.
“We don’t have to talk about this anymore.” Fen’s voice came from far away, cutting through the thick fog of Ru’s thoughts.
She took a long, shaking breath. “No. It’s fine. I understand now. This was my fault.”
“Was it?” said Fen, voice low. “What I saw… I don’t know. I saw a glowing figure, yes. I think that figure was you. But—”
“You don’t have to describe it so clearly,” Ru snapped, feeling too-hot by the fire in that heavy cloak. Angry, terrified, wanting to feel nothing at all. “I can imagine it myself. They uncovered some kind of… they shouldn’t have called for me. You didn’t see what I did. You saw the aftermath. There are only so many paths from a specific action to a specific outcome, and I am at fault.” Her words became choked, hot tears coming unbidden. “What I don’t understand is why I couldn’t have been granted the mercy of being destroyed along with everyone else!”
“Ru—”
But she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to be away. She wanted to disappear. She stood abruptly, cloak sweeping around her as she spun. Without a word or a glance at Fen, she strode into the trees, aimless, her vision blurred with tears.
