Page 210 of Share with Me
The wind picked up. It might be early April, but the night air was still cool.
“There’s a reason for the fire-pit, Ivan. We’re too far away to stay warm. And don’t tell me we have each other.” Brinley got up, brushed the sand off the back of her jeans, and faced Ivan.
“Your fifteen minutes are up, Ivan. I’m glad we had our little talk. I wish you God’s perfect will for your life.”
Ivan frowned at Brinley’s outstretched hand. “You want me to shake your hand?”
“Friends, right?”
Ivan’s eyes widened. He looked confused. “I’m not sure if I want to be just friends.”
His hand warmed up Brinley’s and disinterred images of their weeks together that seemed to stretch forever. She had kept it all in throughout their little talk, trying to remain as objective as she could about his apologies and his being back in town.
Ivan didn’t let go of Brinley’s hand. Instead he stood up and drew her close.
“I thought we had a good thing going.” She put her face against his flannel shirt. She loved the warmth of his chest and the sound of his heartbeats. “What happened to us, Ivan?”
“I had too much on my plate.”
“We could’ve been there for each other.”
“I know, Brin. I’ve done many regrettable things in my life, and that’s one of the worst ones.”
“That’s a reason we have family, friends, community.”
“Maybe I’ve been alone so long that I didn’t know how to not do it on my own.” Ivan rubbed her shoulders. “I wish you were with me through my dark days. I wasn’t there when you grieved over my grandma. I blamed you for everything when deep inside I wanted you so badly. I didn’t think I could be good enough to be your h—uh…”
“Husband?” Brinley asked.
Silence.
“Why didn’t you fight for us, Ivan?”
Silence.
“What is wrong with you and me together?” Brinley asked.
“I guess I couldn’t get past myself. But now I have.”
“I got saved, Ivan. I’m attending church. Going to a Bible Study. Aren’t you happy for me?”
“I am. I started praying for you that night you came home to Sea Island.”
Oh yes. She remembered that night. “I appreciate your prayers.”
“It was all going swimmingly until I broke my wrist. I failed that faith test. I lost my fellowship with God. I lost you.”
“You haven’t lost God or me, Ivan.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“Nor I you. And neither of us deserves God. Yet He chose to give us life and salvation out of His own love.”
Ivan stared at her.
“What, Ivan?”
“Your spiritual growth is amazing.”
