He shook his head and backed away, dropping his hands. “I told you. It’s yours. It’s been seventeen years. I don’t miss it anymore.”
“But I know how much you want this.”
He shook his head again. “No, Ripley. I never wanted my magic back in the first place.” He smiled. “I just wanted you. Even if the only time I could spend with you was on our journey back here.” Then a chuckle fell from his lips. “I just didn’t think it was smart to lead with that.” I watched as his chest filled with air, exhaling slowly. “And I thought bringing you here would make you happy, but after getting to know you, I’m not sure it would. I actually think it would make you miserable.”
“Why do you think that?”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black pants and shrugged. “You’re too curious to be stuck inside working. I think you’d like to be out here in the Ölden Lands, hands on, taking care of it. Visiting the crystal fields, venturing out into the world—”
“What makes you think I won’t?”
He turned his attention back to Elizy, the mauves and azures of the barrier reflecting on his skin.
“Oh, they aren’t going to let you out again,” he whispered then took a hard gulp.
“You’re worried I won’t see you again.”
Keeping his shoulders toward the kingdom, he let his head swivel to me with a sullen smile and nodded. He took a hand out of his pocket and gestured to mylong-lost home. “Look, this kingdom hates me. Your parents cannot fathom that I’m even still alive. And, honestly? I think, sure, the barrier was to keep the Cidris out, but it was an added bonus that it kept me out too.”
I stepped to him and curled my fingers between his. “I will not leave you behind.”
He craned his neck forward and gave me a soft kiss on the forehead. “You say that now. But the whole kingdom has. And once you become one of them—”
“I won’t, Fletcher.”
Pulling his other hand out of his pocket, he took my shoulders and turned me around, placing his fingers under my chin to tilt my head upward. My eyes clasped on a tattered, white hammock. Parts of the material had ripped away and were hanging down, swaying gently in the breeze.
“You see that hammock?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s where I lived when I was a kid because I was exiled. No one wanted me here, and I could have left, but I couldn’t leave you behind.” He released my chin.
“Fletcher.” As his words settled, I realized it was possible that neither of us would be happy here. But,curiosity had me on an unforgiving leash. “I want to learn how to use my magic. I want to give you back yours. And I will not leave you behind.”
His jaw feathered as if that was the last thing he wanted to hear. I could see in his eyes that his heart dropped at my words. A long moment stretched before he uttered, “I’m terrified, Ripley.”
“Why?”
He took an errant lock of hair that had broken free from my top knot and curled it behind my ear. “If you go, your parents are going to do everything in their power to keep you from ever seeing me again. And theywillsucceed. And if that’s what you want, I will respect it. But if it’s not, then I think you need to decide how you feel about me before we go in there.”
Suddenly, my heart dropped as well with the thought of being forced to never see Fletcher again. I didn’t know if I could do that. Not when there was so much to sort out still.
As if he were afraid I’d overthink the issue, he continued, “And while I know you don’t love me, or trust me, or frankly even forgive me, IknowI can earn it all back. I just need time. I’m afraid of the negative influence they are going to be on you. It’s going to be a lot of pressure on you to see things their way. At theend of the day, it will be easier for you to stay in the castle than fight for us—me.”
His insecurity, his heartache, his fear of someone else leaving him behind fractured me into splinters. It wasn’t a fear of just anyone leaving, it was about me. I could sense if I left him, Fletcher was going to be lost. “No one can change my mind about you except you.”
“Yes, they can. Do not underestimate the sheer amount of influence that kingdom will have over you. You are drawn to it. I know you feel it in your blood… because I can feel you. You look at this place like it’s home already.”
He was right. I could feel my blood tingling at my proximity to my kingdom, like a central hub that was the source of all my energy, my magic, my life. “Elizy might call to me. But so do you, Fletcher.”
His arms pulled me into him where I molded effortlessly to his body. “I’m not ready to let you go to them. Not when you aren’t certain about me still.”
“They can say whatever they want. I know who you are.”
He released me and took a measured step back. “Then who am I… to you?”
I smiled, knowing he was fishing for a label that he could hang on to while I was down there. “You are mylight in a sea of darkness. And if I lose you, I’ll be lost forever.”
