She gasped, staggering back like I’d hit her.
Her hand flew to her mouth. “You — you’re lying. You told me — you —”
“I realized something,” I cut her off, my voice colder than I’d ever heard it. “I realized I love Sierra.”
The words tasted like acid on my tongue.
“I realized she’s the one I want, the one I need. And I’m marrying her.”
Her hands clutched her chest, her knees shaking, her whole body trembling. “No… no, you’re not saying this, Ace. You’re just — you’re having a moment, a breakdown, you’re scared. We can work through this. Please, please —”
“I don’t want to work through anything!” I roared, slamming my fist into the wall, making her jump. “I’m done babysitting your anxiety, done tiptoeing around your panic attacks. Sierra’s stable, strong, not a mess like you.”
Her sob tore through the room, sharp and raw.
I wanted to rip my own skin off.
I wanted to scream that I was lying.
But I had to make her hate me.
It was the only way to save her from what was coming.
Her legs gave out, and she sank to the floor, sobbing into her hands, shaking, gasping, her whole body folded in on itself.
“Ace…” she choked out, reaching for me blindly, her eyes pleading, desperate. “Please… please don’t do this.”
My nails dug into my palms until I felt the sting of blood.
I turned away.
“I’m done,” I muttered, voice dead.
She let out a strangled sound, halfway between a sob and a scream. “You coward!” she wept. “You waited for me to fall in love with you — you waited for me to say it — and you destroyed me.”
I closed my eyes.
Inside, I was shattering into a thousand pieces.
“I never loved you, Brittany,” I whispered, my voice shaking despite myself. “I was just too weak to walk away before.”
Her scream pierced the room. She threw the nearest thing — a mug — it shattered against the wall near my head. “Get out!” she shrieked. “Get the hell out! I hate you! I hate you!”
I stumbled back, gripping the doorframe like it was the only thing holding me upright.
“Goodbye, Britt,” I rasped.
And then I left.
I walked down the hall, down the stairs, out into the freezing air, and I collapsed on the pavement, hands over my face, shaking, choking on the sobs that ripped out of me.
I had done it.
I had destroyed the only person who ever really saw me, ever really loved me.
I was the monster.
And the worst part?
