Page 30 of Defending Love
He ran his palms up and down my arms. “I won’t run. The problem is, I want more than a kiss, more than your warm, sweet lips, and that’s wrong.”
“Says who?”
“It’s not only Ben’s policy, but my own.” He shook his head. “Connections blur lines that should stay distinct.”
“Then stop working on my assignment.”
“What?” he asked, confused.
“I want you, too.” I swallowed. “I’m a consenting adult, Eli. I want whatever we can get. Let someone else have my case. If what’s between us only lasts for a short time, then at least we can say we had that. If it’s meant to be longer?—”
He touched my lips with his finger. “I can’t drop you as my assignment.”
My neck stiffened. “You’re saying that you’d rather have this job than see where the two of us could go?”
“Fuck no. I want you. That want is selfish.” He pressed his firm lips together. “Keeping you safe is more than a job. I feel the need to protect you deep inside my bones, an unrelenting demand to ensure your safety. That outcome is more important than a physical desire.”
I swallowed, fighting the burning in my eyes. I’d laid my feelings on the line and been rejected. My voice cooled to a frigid tone as I reached for the safe keypad. “Fine, Eli. Do your job.”
Before I could press the first button, Eli seized my shoulders and spun my body until my back was against the tall bookcase. The shelves pressed into my back and the hardness of Eli’s body pushed against my front.
Gasping for breath, I stared upward into the cyclone of gold flecks spinning in his green irises. “What the hell?”
His lips crashed down on mine as they had the year before, bruising and taking. The rush of adrenaline flooding my circulation caused an ensuing cataclysmic eruption of my emotions. As much as I wanted what he was doing, I fought with all my might, pushing back against his solid, unmoving chest and twisting my face from side to side.
Relentless, Eli released my shoulders and palmed both sides of my cheeks, holding my face in place as he continued his kiss. Synapse after synapse exploded; sparks ignited. This was more than a kiss. It was an exorcism.
The flood of endorphins ripped at my grief, my sadness, intertwining desire and reminding me of my loneliness. Despite the devotion to my work and the support of my family, I had a void within me, one exemplified by the loss of my father.
Connection.
A real connection was what was missing from my life. The desire was so intense that I’d refused to face it, to acknowledge that deficit when Eli left a year ago. While I couldn’t face it then, at this moment, I had no choice.
The physical manifestation of my desire had me pinned against the bookshelf in my father’s office.
With my heart thumping violently against my breastbone, my body stopped struggling. Buzzing filled my ears as Eli’s tongue danced with mine and my thoughts collided, turning rational notions into molten goo.
My father.
Danger.
Eli’s rejection.
My kiss.
His passion.
Him.
Pressing my breasts against his solid chest, I savored the taste of his lips and the sensation of his tongue. With the hunger of a starving man, Eli continued his devouring of my lips. His hands lowered, pulling my hips to him. Our closeness did more than bruise my lips. My nipples hardened and my pussy twisted.
Finally, but too soon, Eli released his hold, leaning back while keeping our hips connected. He tipped his forehead to the top of my head. “I’m…”
The fire he’d not only lit, but tended, morphed from desire to anger. My volume rose. “Don’t you dare apologize.” I reached up to his face as he’d done to mine. My gaze locked on his.
He cocked his face to the side as he wiped a tear from my cheek that I didn’t realize I’d released. His deep tenor slowed as his emerald eyes held me in place. “I’m not sorry for the kiss or the way I feel about you.” He swallowed. “I’m sorry if what I feel interferes with keeping you safe. I could never live with myself.” He caressed my cheek. “I don’t want to be on the earth if you’re not on it too.”
“What about Ben’s rules? What about yours?”
