Page 92 of Throne of Ice and Blood
“Your chest is warm,” I whisper.
It’s as if sensation is returning to my hands for the first time in minutes. Goddess above, I can’t believe that I didn’t notice how warm his body is before. Still keeping my eyes closed, I press my palms harder against his muscular chest.
“And firm,” I continue.
“Take another breath.”
This one actually makes it all the way down into my lungs. I almost gasp at the feeling but manage to hold the breath for another few seconds before letting it out. That tingling sensation in my arms starts to fade.
“Your hands are steady,” I continue, suddenly able to feel the comforting weight of his hands on my hips. Then I realize that I can feel the wall behind my back. “The wall is cool against my skin.” I can feel the wooden floorboards underneath my bare feet too. “And the floor is hard.”
Without being told to, I take a deep breath that makes my lungs expand fully. Then I slowly let it out and do it again. My hands and arms are no longer tingling.
A breath of profound relief comes from Draven’s chest.
My heart flips as I suddenly feel his forehead against mine. But I don’t open my eyes.
“Good,” he whispers against my lips as he flexes his fingers on my hips.
For quite a while we just stand like that. His hands on my hips and my hands on his chest. His forehead against mine while we breathe slowly and deeply.
The overwhelming panic from before drains away with every second until it eventually fades completely. I drag in a long steadying breath.
“Are you okay?” Draven asks against my mouth.
“Yes.” The word comes out as a whisper.
But Draven nods anyway. Then he straightens, taking his forehead off mine. I open my eyes at last. And to my embarrassment, tears begin streaming down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” I stammer while desperately trying to wipe them off.
Seriousness descends on his features as he cups my cheeks again and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears while he levels a commanding stare on me. “Don’t ever apologize for crying. It’s not a weakness. It’s a sign that you’ve had to be strong for too long.”
A sob rips from my throat, and a steady warmth fills my whole chest.
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” I whisper. But the tears have stopped. And the panic is gone.
A soft smile blows across Draven’s lips. “Then focus on how much you hate me. Because you know thatthatis real at least.”
Something between a sob and a broken laugh escapes my mouth, and I manage a small smile.
The smile stays on Draven’s lips too as he bends down and kisses my forehead. Then he lets his hands drop from my cheeks and steps back.
He opens his mouth to say something else, but right before he can, loud knocking comes from the door.
“Commander!” a voice calls. “We just got word that the Red Hand has been spotted outside the palace. On the east side of the mountain.”
My heart leaps into my throat.
But then my mind catches up. The east side. That’s the side where the emergency tunnel leads out. The side that I told Kath I needed an excuse to search. She must have spread a rumor that the Red Hand was there, knowing that Draven would take me with him when he went to investigate it. Mabona’s tits, she’s brilliant.
Draven frowns at the door, and the messenger outside it, in confusion. But I’m already wiping the final tears from my cheeks. I need to pull myself together. I can break down and cry once I have successfully launched a rebellion against the Iceheart Dynasty and left Frostfell behind.
But for now, I need to keep all of those lies and world-shattering truths buried deep inside me. I need to keep it together for a little while longer. Because I have a secret entrance to find.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Wind rushes in my ears as Draven flies us across the unforgiving mountainside on the east side of the Ice Palace. Just like last night, he carries me in his arms while his massive wings boom around us. My arms around his neck are less tight than last night, but my stomach still lurches when he banks sharply and then sweeps down towards the ground.
